Clean Air For Our Kids: Mom’s Clean Air Force

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Madhavi and I have made a lot of changes in our lives in order to have:

  • Better drinking water in our house.
  • No chemical/toxic cleaning products in our house.
  • Less pollutants tracked in from outside (by ditching our shoes at the door).
  • Local and organic foods for the most part.
  • No microwaved food for Anjali.
  • No flame-retardant-chemical mattresses.

So why would we want Anjali to play out side if we knew there were elevated levels of mercury and other toxins in the air?  We wouldn’t.

Unfortunately, at this very moment, pro-polluters are actively lobbying to dismantle government regulations such as the Clean Air Act.  This is at a time when more than 9 million children suffer from asthma and childhood cancer rates are rising dramatically.

Thank goodness Derek Markham, an activist who blogs at Natural Papa, got in touch with me about Moms Clean Air Force (MCAF).  MCAF is a growing community of moms, dads and others who are uniting to defend clean air for everybody, especially our kids.  The project aims to prevent Congress from limiting the EPA’s authority to ensure clean air for everybody, especially our kids.

If you want to find out more and support this important movement, just click Join the Force.

I also encourage any of you bloggers out there to write about this issue to let your readers know they can join too.  Just email me and let me know if you need more information.

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Go The F**K To Sleep

Posted on July 7, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment



Madhavi got me this book, Go the F**k to Sleep.  I was surprised, because there are many times she has been the voice of calm and reason when I am having trouble helping Anjali to sleep (“Change directions…Read books…Play with her until she’s tired…Give up and try later…”).

Okay, I didn’t want to admit that this book speaks to me.  I’m supposed to be the loving, calm AP papa.  But my guess is this book hits home with pretty much every parent, because every one of us has struggled with getting our little ones to sleep at one time or another.

It will make you laugh, even if you don’t want to admit you have thought the words.

I know I have thought these very words (Go the F**k to Sleep) on several occasions, like when I have already read 5 books to Anjali (or the same book 5 times); or when I’m completely exhausted myself, and it’s taking 30-40 minutes for her to wind down and even consider sleep as an option; or when she suddenly wants to sit on the potty (after she just peed!), go swimming, read books, play with toys, etc. (anything but lay down in the bed!).

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Growing Our Own Food

Posted on July 5, 2011 by Jeremy| 2 Comments

Kale, collards, chard, tomatoes and squash picked just yesterday

We joined an awesome community garden more than 2 years ago, called “Seedy Acres.” :)

Last year there was no way we were able to do anything with our little 8X15 ft. plot, with Anjali being quite a newborn handful.  I managed to turn and amend the soil, and that was about it.  That was fertile ground for some healthy weeds!

This year we got in there and made it happen.  It has been super-rewarding, and Anjali is really enjoying being in there.  I like giving her an early sense of where food comes from, and being more connected with the earth and things that grow (okay, I am a hippie at heart (see previous post)).

But seriously, there is an unfortunate epidemic of kids, especially urban kids, being very disconnected with nature.

I see how easily it happens in our city.  It’s sad, really.  Madhavi and I are making an effort to get out into green more often, even if it means having to drive a little ways to get there.

I intuitively know how important having Anjali playing and exploring in natural, outdoor settings is.  Even the Journal of American Medicine agrees, as does the The Children & Nature Network (C&NN), which ”was created to encourage and support the people and organizations working nationally and internationally to reconnect children with nature.” [ 1. http://www.cnaturenet.org/02_rsrch_studies/PDFs/Burdette_LookingBeyond.pdf. ]

Some of the benefits of children being immersed in nature regularly:

  • Increased creativity, better problem solving skills, more focus, and better self discipline. [ 2. Eren Hays San Pedro, The Benefits Of Getting Into Nature With Your Kids, July 26, 2010, http://simpleorganic.net/the-benefits-of-getting-into-nature-with-your-kids/. ]
  • Social benefits like better cooperation in groups, greater flexibility, and self-awareness. [ 3. Eren Hays San Pedro, The Benefits Of Getting Into Nature With Your Kids, July 26, 2010, http://simpleorganic.net/the-benefits-of-getting-into-nature-with-your-kids/. ]
  • Stress reduction, reduced aggression and increased happiness.

Umm…Adults need to heed the message here.  It is my contention that we have such high rates of depression in our culture as a result of our increasingly sedentary, indoor lifestyle.

Others definitely agree.  In other words, we need to get out of our desk chairs, off our computers (ahem….okay.  I will, just after this post!), and into the great outdoors for a walk, a bike ride, a jog, gardening, swimming, whatever!

What We Are Picking

Every day, either first thing in the morning, or sometime just before sunset, I we walk to our little garden, just a block away.  We pick what’s ready to be picked, weed a tiny bit (less so with all the buggies attacking us these days) and water the plants.  There are 3 shared raspberry bushes that Anjali really loves.  I can’t pick them fast enough before she’s asking for more.

Satellite squash (I wish I were a better photographer 'cause this thing is sweet looking!)

Just about everyday I walk out of the garden with kale, collards and chard.  At this point, every other day we harvest a giant zucchini and some tomatoes (mostly cherry).  We’re also growing beans, purple peppers, lettuce, basil, cucumber (that plant recently bit the dust :( ) and this awesome satellite squash.

It doesn’t get fresher than picking veggies and eating them that day.

Maybe next year we’ll expand into our newly acquired plot of land behind our house!  Until then, let’s see how much our Seedy Acres plot will yield…

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Music For Toddlers: A Few CDs Break Free Of The Lameness

Posted on June 29, 2011 by Jeremy| 6 Comments

Thus far, I have found very few children’s music that I like.  Often, I default to playing “regular” music for Anjali.  We have a pretty eclectic collection of stuff.

I don’t necessarily think it’s a matter of what Anjali likes, although she definitely responds more to certain music.  Mainly, I think she enjoys music that motivates her to shake her body to.  This is probably the case with most kids.  I think what I’m searching for is music that we all like.

There seem to be so many lame children’s albums out there.  Either the sounds they use are cheesy, the music is just blah, or the approach is overly simplistic.

They Might Be Giants


There are currently three children’s CDs we all agree on in our house.  One is They Might Be Giants: Here Come The 123s. Anjali absolutely loves some of these songs.  The songs are clever, catchy and funny.  The music and production is fantastic (no wonder this CD/DVD) won a Grammy.  These are songs that any adult can appreciate and sing along to as well.  And there is an entire DVD with fantastic videos as well.  These are pretty much the only videos Anjali watches at this point, besides a great Spanish video (more on that later).

They Might Be Giants also has Here Come the ABCs and Here Comes Science, also great CDs.  Our favorite is the 123s though.

Putamayo


The other two CDs we listen listen to a ton are part of the Putamayo series.   ANIMAL PLAYGROUND has really playful and clever songs about animals from around the world.  At least, I know the ones in english are playful and clever.  From the bits I can understand of the other languages (Portuguese, Spanish, Italian and more), those songs are playful and clever too!).  Anjali loves to dance to some of these songs.  Here current favorite is Cantiga do Sapo, a North Brazilian forro about a little singing frog.  Like the 123s, this CD does not come off solely as “music for kids,” but simply great music for anyone.

The other Putamayo CD we have is FRENCH PLAYGROUND.
I’ll be honest.  My french is not so good.  But even more reason to say that the music on this CD is fantastic.  We simply don’t get bored of it.  We sing along.  We dance.  We love it.  Like the Animal Playground CD, French Playground highlights various artists.  In this case, they’re from France, Haiti, Canada and more.  The CD includes all of the lyrics and translations too.

From experience, I think it might be wise for us to check out more of the Putamayo kids series.  Putamayo generally does not disappoint.

One thing I’m fairly certain of: making children’s music is deceptively hard.  Maybe someday I’ll take a crack at it.

I’d love to hear what other people are liking for and with their kids.  Simply comment below.

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Homemade Deodorant: I Am Not A Hippie!

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Indeed, I was once a Grateful-Dead-listening-long-hair-Birkenstock-wearing “hippie.”  That is no longer the case.  Well, maybe that’s only partially true.  I started wearing Birkenstocks again, and I wear completely natural, homemade deodorant.

Today I am making my first attempt at making my own deodorant.  I have been using this stuff for the past few years, but Madhavi has been making it for me.  Today I’m on my own.  I just walked with Anjali to Penn Herb, a local store that sells (as the name implies) herbs, homeopathic remedies and other things natural.

Why Would You Want To Do That?

Deodorant may not strike you as one of those things you want to make. The main reason we decided to make our own is to avoid Aluminum, and other chemicals (parabens mainly),  found in most deodorants and anti-perspirants.  Aluminum in deodorants has been linked to Alzheimer’s Disease 1 and breast cancer. 2  Aluminum is the ingredient in anti-perspirants that blocks your sweat glands.  Doesn’t it seem a bit unhealthy to make yourself not sweat?

Both of us have tried all sorts of store-bought natural deodorants, only to find that most completely suck.  I realized I was better off using nothing than buying some of these products.

Then I read that baking soda worked incredibly well.  In fact, Arm and Hammer made a baking soda, aluminum-free deodorant, but discontinued it.  I guess not enough people were interested.  I thought about just mixing baking soda and water, as I read that some people do that.  But then Madhavi found this recipe at Angry Chicken.

The Ingredients 3

  • 3 Tbsp. Shea Butter
  • 3 Tbsp. Baking Soda
  • 2 Tbsp. Corn Starch
  • 2 Tbsp. Cocoa Butter
  • 2 Vitamin E Oil Gel Caps
  • a few drops of essential oil (we use lavender)

I’m leaving out the vitamin E.

This Is How Easy It Is

Madhavi melts all of the ingredients, mixes them in a little glass jar, and then lets them set in the fridge.  The jar we use looks like this (this is empty…I still have to make it today :) ):

This stuff works better than ANY deodorant I have ever used and is totally natural! It lasts a really long time too.  I think this jar will get me through 9 months or more.  I just take a pea-size amount in my fingers, mush it around a bit so it gets soft, and apply.

Madhavi found that it irritates her skin, so she is still left with less perfect solutions.  I have not had this problem at all.

Give it a try.  I’ll let you know how mine turns out.

  1. http://www.controlyourimpact.com/articles/deodorants-antiperspirants-and-your-health/. ↩
  2. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/AP-Deo. ↩
  3. Amy Karol, Homemade Deodorant (yup), http://angrychicken.typepad.com/angry_chicken/2008/07/homemade-deodor.html. ↩

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Excessive Cell Phone Use And Its Affect On Kids

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

I was at the park the other day, pushing Anjali on the swing.  I noticed a mom with her son, who was close in age to Anjali.  She was on the phone, and was quite adept at carrying on a conversation while helping her son play safely on the play-set/jungle-gym.  I have also displayed such adeptness at multitasking.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, telling me I had a call.  I had to make a conscious effort to ignore the buzzing, as it is almost reflexive for me to immediately pick up the phone, at least to see who it is.  I decided not to even look at it, let alone answer it.  You see, I’m trying to change my cell phone behavior.

I realize how addicted I am to this constant contact most of us experience daily, with a constant influx of phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook updates, tweets, instant messages, and on and on.

For the sake of this post I’m going to put aside the fact that excessive cell phone use is likely unhealthy for me (“a multinational study conducted by the World Health Organization found that heavy mobile phone usage significantly increases the risk of brain and salivary gland tumors,”) 1

I spent the last few days thinking about why my cell phone overuse might affect Anjali negatively.

  • As adept as I think I am while I’m multitasking, my divided attention puts Anjali in potential danger.  It only takes a few seconds for a preventable accident to happen.  It only takes a few seconds for her to wander off, or worse, be taken off.
  • Every moment I am on the phone, I am missing out on the full experience of truly being with my daughter.
  • Done repeatedly, I may be sending the message to Anjali that the phone is more important than her. It’s like saying, “I’ll play with you, but anytime that black rectangular thing “beeps,” (as she says it), it takes priority, not you.”
  • I am setting a strong pattern for her to model. For one, if she sees the importance I place on the phone, she will very quickly pick up on that.  What we’ll end up with is a 3 year old begging me to get her a cell phone.  Secondly, I am teaching her that being constantly distracted is normal behavior.  I know by know how these little ones imitate and integrate our behaviors, and being constantly distracted by a cell phone is not a behavior I want her to learn.
  • If cell phone use does in fact cause serious health risks, do I really want my daughter to place such high value on cell phones?  I started using a cell phone when I was in my late twenties.  Anjali, and kids her age, are still in a highly developmental period.  I can only guess that her exposure to cell phones poses a higher risk for long-term health problems.

So, for my benefit, and for Anjali’s benefit (and at the risk of breaking our culture’s instant-reply-ettiquette!), here are some changes I am trying to make:

  1. I leave my phone at home as much as possible.  I think the world will survive if I don’t have my phone on me for an hour or so.
  2. I keep my phone on silent/vibrate, unless I am expecting an important call.  I also turned off beeps and boops that tell me I have a new email, text, etc.
  3. If I am at the park with Anjali, I try my hardest not to interrupt what we are doing to answer the phone.  I may screen a call, in case Madhavi is calling, or if I am expecting an important call.
  4. I try to batch phone calls, emails and texts, so that I am making most of my phone calls for the day in one chunk of time.  I try to do this when Anjali is napping.  I sometimes do it when I am with her, but I explain to her first that I have some important phone calls.
  5. To minimize potential health risks, I try to keep the phone out of my pocket as much as possible.  For example, when I am home, I keep the phone on the table, away from my body.

Interestingly, I find the less I make myself available on the phone, the less calls and messages I get.  I believe it’s called “cutting the fat.”

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to ignore people.  I do cherish valuable contact with friends and family.  I also have some calls that are high priority.  But there are only so many hours in a day.  Anjali is growing so fast, I don’t want to look back and feel like I missed out for a bunch of trivial phone calls.

  1. Anthony Gucciardi, “Study On Cell Phone Dangers Prompts Major Call For School Bans,” 2011, http://www.naturalnews.com/032480_cell_phones_human_health.html. ↩

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Building With Anjali

Posted on May 21, 2011 by Jeremy| 2 Comments

Over the past couple of weeks, Anjali has taken block building building to a new level.  That is, she likes me to build the exquisite buildings you see below.  She helps by gathering and bringing the blocks to me…

And supervising.  She signs “more,” and I build at will.

Previously, Anjali loved to knock down the block buildings immediately after they were built, like some kind of baby Godzilla.  But some of these buildings we built stayed standing for days.

That period ended, and now she’s back to knocking down the buildings only after the first few blocks are laid.  But I captured some of our masterpieces on “film.”

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Praise Vs. Encouragement

Posted on May 21, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

I have been reading a lot about issues around praising children.  Specifically, Madhavi and I have taken the approach that over-praising is detrimental to a young child’s self-esteem.  We strongly believe that healthy and positive self-esteem, along with good physical health, is one of the most important attributes we can help instill in our children.  We want Anjali to draw motivation from inside, rather than rely on external praise.  We want her confidence to be based on intrinsic achievement, rather than achievement solely based on external cues, such as grades, awards or praise.

Please don’t get me wrong.  We are not some cold-hearted, un-loving parents who are withholding praise to teach our baby to be stronger.  Quite the opposite.  We show her tons of love, affection and encouragement.

I found this great article that really struck a chord with me.  It sums up the praise vs. encouragement discussion.  To sum up:

  • “Praise motivates children to do things for extrinsic reasons (to please others) and not for intrinsic reasons (to please themselves or because the task is inherently worth doing)”
  • “positive reinforcement in the form of encouragement “is more important than any other aspect of child raising” (Dreikurs, 1964, p. 36), according to its supporters. It is not judgmental, but places the emphasis on behavior and process rather than person and product.”

Those quotes are from Which Is Better: Praise Or Encouragement, by B. Kaiser and J.S. Rasminsky.

So What Do You Say?

From the research I have done, here is a list I have compiled of approaches I would take:

  • Avoid labels!  Don’t say, “You’re so smart,” or “You are going to be a dancer.”  Instead, say, “You really read that well,” and, “You are really having fun dancing, aren’t you?”  Try to praise or encourage the action.
  • Related to avoiding labels, it’s better to encourage that an achievement is based on an action the child did, rather than on some innate ability.  In other words, rather than saying, “You’re so smart,” because of receiving a good grade on a test, it’s better to say, “You did really well on that test,” or, “You’re studying really helped you do so well on that test.”
  • Be specific with praise.  Cite a specific thing the child did, rather than a generality.  For example, say “You really played that blues song nicely,” instead of, “Good playing.”
  • Be sincere.  Kids recognize empty praise, probably much earlier than you think.  They can tell when you mean it.
  • Help your child appreciate results based on their own feelings and personal achievement, rather than on opinions of others.  In other words, encourage them to recognize their own achievement, rather than telling them how you feel.  Instead of, “I’m so proud of you,” maybe, “You must be proud of…”  It  may be better still to leave it open and not say anything, since pointing out that they “must be proud” is still an imposition of your own thoughts.  Perhaps it’s better to let your child discover her feelings on her own.  You just provide the warm, loving environment.
  • Avoid comparing your children to others.  Sure, everyone has different abilities.  But comparisons will only encourage your child to base achievements on how he or she stacks up to others, rather than on personal standards.

I tell you, it’s not easy.  It’s hard to avoid saying, “Good job,” all the time.  It sometimes feels like a gray area between encouragement and praise.  It’s a work in progress…

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Bumbo Alternatives

Posted on May 17, 2011 by Jeremy| 3 Comments

You may have read about the developmental risks of the Bumbo baby seat, or perhaps you are just looking for bumbo alternatives that are more in line with attachment parenting.

Real quick though…

What is the Bumbo?

Made By Wartburg Enterprises, the Bumbo is a single-piece seat made of a low-density foam.  It’s a deep seat, with a high back and sides.   There are leg holes, which fit to a baby’s size, and also a front support so the baby won’t fall out.

The Problem?

The problem, as I discuss in my post, Bumbo Not Good For Babies’ Development, is that this little seat is bad for an infants spinal development, as it has them sitting in a semi-contorted, unnatural position.

“Stay At Home Papa uses and recommends the ERGO BABY CARRIER
and MOBY WRAP
as wonderful and safe alternatives to the Bumbo.”

Great Alternatives To the Bumbo Seat

Of course, there are great alternatives to the Bumbo seat.  The thing is, the bumbo seat, often called a “baby sitter,” is a detached way to get parents hands free.

While I too am looking for convenience, I don’t want to deprive my Anjali from the comforts and security of being close to me and part of the action.

What I recommend is using carriers whenever possible.  The ones Madhavi and I have used time and time again are the Ergo Baby Carrier
and the Moby Wrap.

The benefits of baby wearing are many:

  • Happier babies.  Studies show carried babies cry less.  A study published in Pediatrics showed that babywearing for three hours a day reduces infant crying by over 40%!
  • Healthier babies.
  • More confident parents and babies.
  • Convenient for parents; hands free.
  • Babies learn so much as a result of being part of the action.  Think about it, they see just about everything you are doing when you are wearing them, as opposed to them just sitting there in a Bumbo like a blob of jelly.
  • Healthier Parents.  You get your fair share of exercise by wearing your baby.  Forget about the gym.  Wear your baby and dance to some music!
  • Safer.  Unlike with the Bumbo, your child won’t be left unattended.

Anjali is now 20 months old.  Only recently have I really reduced the amount of babywearing that I once did.  She prefers to walk most of the time.

I have personally preferred the Ergo carrier over the stroller as well.  I find it much more fun to carrier her, as she is right there with me.  We are close.  She can easily hear me, and I her.  I can point things out to her.

I also find the carrier way less cumbersome than a stroller.  If I go to a local store, it’s a pain in the ass to get a bulky stroller in and out.  Often there is just no where to put the stroller inside.  It’s so much easier to walk in and keep her in the carrier, or take her out and let her roam about.

Perhaps the carriers allow me to carry less stuff, whereas the stroller has lots of little compartments.  But I really don’t need much stuff.  I can carry her on my front and have a bag with diapers, snacks and water on my back.  Or if she is on my back (as is more often the case now that she’s over 20 pounds), I just carry my courier bag hanging on my front.

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Composting Or Trashing Food

Posted on April 20, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Yesterday, Anjali and I went on our rounds to the park, and to take our compost to the community composter at Liberty Lands Park.  Yesterday was the first day our helper carried our little composter through the park to the big composter.  What we have is the Exaco Trading ECO-2000 2.4 Gallon Kitchen Composter.

We have been composting for a couple of years now.  I don’t know why we didn’t start sooner.  I could blame it on the fact that we live in the city.  But I realized a little while back that that’s just not a good enough excuse, especially in Northern Liberties, which is a pretty green neighborhood.

In addition to having our neighborhood composter, we have the ability to compost in our community garden, though our plot is not that large.  I would rather keep that space for planting stuff.  Additionally, there are services like Bennett Compost which will pick up your compost for $15/month.  I imagine other towns and cities have this service.  I found one for NYC called Pedal To Petal.

We opted for the free version, by simply walking 5 minutes to add our scraps to the community compost.  They are then used in the community garden at Liberty Lands.  Eventually, we will have a little garden in our new back yard (which is currently just a lot where we park).

All of this made me realize how ridiculous and stupid it is that we were throwing food scraps in the trash.  Think about it.  Food decomposes.  So, it makes sense that we would send the scraps back to the earth to replenish the soil.  Trash goes in the ground–or rather in a ginormous pile.  But if the food is in a trash bag then it is just being contained in the plastic for who-knows-how-long! It is trapped and unable to replenish the soil.

When I think about how many years I was putting food in the trash, only to end up in a landfill, rather than put to use, I end up in a face-palm.

I’m not sure what happens to food we put in the garbage disposal, but I imagine it ends up going from the sewage system into a water treatment plant.  That doesn’t seem right either.

Anyway, I read about this other electric composter, especially useful for us city dwellers, called the NatureMill Composter PRO XE.
It’s made from recycled materials, includes a small heater and mixer (uses only $0.50 of electricity per month) to maintain industrial-grade composting conditions.  The unit fits under your sink, and can produce up to 120 pounds per month of rich organic compost each month.

There are a bunch of other kitchen compost containers too, all worth the investment to keep your kitchen from stinking of decomposing food, while holding your food scraps to be properly dealt with.

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