Contrarians Have More Fun (Especially In The Rain)

Until recently, when it rained we made the obvious choice to stay inside.  Although I firmly believe we, especially kids, need to get outside everyday for at least a short period of time.  The air, the exercise, the stimulation and the exploring kids do are all great reasons to get out everyday, not to mention it’s fun to play with friends!

We have had record rain this summer, which means that we were destined to spend a lot of the summer cooped up in our house.  Multiple days in a row trapped inside is tough on toddlers.  That translates to being tough on parents who have to deal with stir crazy kids.

There are only so many block towers to be made, only so many drawings and only so many indoor I’m-gonna-get-you-chasing-games.  There are only so many videos we can watch (we only have three as it is).  Anjali wants to be swinging on swings, digging in the wood chips and climbing on climb-y things.

Enter 1 raincoat and 1 set of froggy rain boots for Anjali, and rain pants for mama and papa.



At the outset of Hurricane Irene in August, we decided to take a little walk to the Random Tea Room.  It  was just starting to rain.  We put on our gear and walked.  We had our tea.  On the way home it really started coming down.  Once we got home however, Anjali was having so much fun in the rain, walking through puddles, splashing and exploring, that we all decided to hang outside for a while.

Then Anjali and I took a walk around the neighborhood.

The look on her face was one of complete joy and wonderment.  For me, witnessing Anjali’s new experiences

and the joy it brings her is one of the most inspiring things I have experienced in life.

Since then, when it rains I try to make it a point to get our gear on and go outside, rather than remain trapped in the house.  Anjali loves it, and we get the whole park to ourselves on rainy days!   Swinging in the rain

is a whole new experience.  We had to be careful on the climbers, although Anjali was adventurous.

I guess it pays off to be a contrarian, especially in the rain, so long as you have good waterproof boots!

Are Compostable Diapers Really Compostable?

A few weeks ago I posted about my discovery of fully compostable diapers.  We have been using disposable diapers only at night and when on trips out of town where doing laundry would be problematic.

I mentioned about Broody Chick 100% Natural Fully Compostable Diapers.

We ended up trying Attitude biodegradable diapers.  We bought just one pack of 40 to see how they were, as they had mixed reviews but the price was more reasonable than Broody Chick.  Along with that we bought some compostable trash bags.  After all, does it make any sense to have compostable diapers and just stick them in a regular non-biodegradable trash bag where it would sit for centuries?!

In fact, I felt like such a smarty-pants for realizing that I thought of the compostable bags, since most people probably overlook them as a piece in this go-green-puzzle.

I Am Put In My Place

We used the ATTITUDE diapers for about a week and found them to be really good.  No leaks (this was the whole reason we started using disposables over cloth).  They are completely natural, chemical free and durable.

Then, when I was picking up a toddler bed from my neighbor Lara, I asked her if she knew if the trash guys would take compostable bags.  Lara is our neighborhood’s Quality Of Life Coordinator.  She deals with everything from trash and recycling to green neighborhood events.  She pointed out that, regardless of whether they take them or not, they’re not likely to break down any faster than regular disposables or any other trash for that matter.  The problem is where it’s all going.  It’s all going in a landfill.  There is no air exposure and all of it, compostable or not, is buried.

That is when I had a “Duh” moment.  After all, what is the point of spending extra money and making extra effort just to suffocate these compostable diapers and bags underground with all of the regular trash.

Unless I’m willing to bury these diapers in my back yard (which I’m not), or unless my neighborhood is cool with me putting diapers in the neighborhood compost bin (which I guarantee they are not), I’m not sure it’s worth all of the effort.

In The End, I Believe These Diapers Are Still Worth It

After feeling thwarted by my neighbor’s insight, I realize that it is still worth buying these Attitude diapers, or those like it.

  • For one, I believe having natural fibers on Anjali’s butt is way better than having plastic or absorbency chemicals.  I’m pretty sure Huggies Pure and Natural are not entirely natural.
  • Secondly, I feel better using less petroleum-based products, especially in a world where everything seems to be rooted somehow in petroleum (and corn!).
  • Third, I appreciate green companies’ and manufacturers’ efforts to make our world a more sustainable place.  I prefer to support such companies, rather than those that don’t care, or that only produce a “green” product because they see a growing market for it.
  • Last, I can at least hope that these diapers and bags will break down faster than regular disposables, despite the fact that they are in a land fill.

Perhaps I will look into alternate waste sources in the area for such things.  Maybe there is a place I can dispose of non-food compostable items.  It’s not something I have a ton of time to do these days, but I may look into it.

Everyday Blessings

I think despite the fact that I have a parenting philosophy, it’s important to keep exploring, reading and learning.  After all my ideas and feelings about parenting are just that, ideas and feelings.  They are ever changing, developing and growing.

That’s why I love to hear about new ideas and philosophies.  I love to hear about new books to read.  At the same time, I’m the kind of person that loves to listen to one album until I know it inside and out, and yet still find new twists and turns.  I’m the kind of person that loves to watch a movie many times, to notice things I may have missed the first couple of times.  I’m definitely the kind of person that loves to reread books that resonate with me.

That is why I started reading Everyday Blessingsagain.  I hadn’t forgotten how honest and thoughtful the book is.  Still, I am finding things that are resonating even more with me now that Anjali is 19 months old (when I read this before she was still an infant).

Recently, I have been trying to live by this paragraph:

“But in parenting, even what we thought and did yesterday that “worked out well” then, is not necessarily going to help today.  We have to stay very much in the present moment to sense what might be required.  And when our own inner resources are depleted, we have to have effective and healthy ways to replenish them, to restore ourselves, without it being at the expense of our children.” 1

Why did this passage hit me hard when I read it again?

It took me a while to realize that what works for me one day does not necessarily work for me the next.  I found this time and time again whether it had to do with naptime routines, meal time, communication, “discipline,” elimination communication or really anything and everything.

It’s so important for me to remember this in order for Anjali to thrive.  She is in such rapid physical, mental and emotional development that to think what works one day will work by default the next is just ridiculous.

Although Anjali is very much shaped by what Madhavi and I do, we have always found it important to treat her as a person with her own thoughts, feelings, wishes and needs.  If she wants to wear her jacket and raincoat in the house while it’s 80 degrees, that’s fine.  She will figure out that it gets too hot.  If she doesn’t want to eat her dinner when we eat dinner, or doesn’t want the food we are eating, we will encourage her to do so, and explain the consequences (ie being hungry in the middle of the night), but we won’t create a “you must do this” situation.

It’s mainly concerning safety issues that we will be firm and demand she do something, such as holding our hands when we are crossing a street.  Otherwise, I try to remember that none of us are confined by exact routines.  Sometimes I go to sleep at 11pm.  Sometimes I go to sleep at 1am.  Sometimes I get in bed and I’m not tired.  Sometimes I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.  Most of the time I sleep in our bedroom, but sometimes I don’t.  So I should expect Anjali to need that kind of flexibility too.

In fact, I would argue that as parents we  need to be more flexible with our children than we are with ourselves or each other.  These toddlers are just learning about routines and consequences.


So I continue to try…And mess up and forget.  I continue to learn from Anjali as she learns from me.  I really do my best parenting when I remember to be in the moment, which is indeed what Everyday Blessings is all about.

  1. Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, Everyday Blessings, p. 15, 1997.

I Am A Stay At Home Dad In The Truest Sense…

You may or may not notice by the date and time this post was published, so I will point it out to you.

It is 11:58pm on a Saturday night.  I am not performing, rocking out as it were.  I am not having a drink with friends at one of the many trendy bars in my hip neighborhood, Northern Liberties.  I am not even at a coffee shop drinking some important coffee.

I am at home, blogging on a Saturday night.  I truly live up to my moniker as a stay-at-home-papa.

Let me go on, and bask in my geek-dom.

Mind you, Madhavi and Anjali are in NYC.  They left this afternoon around 1pm.   They are staying with a friend over night.  They are coming back tomorrow early evening.  What have I done since they left?  Oh, this is too exciting.

First, I pulled weeds out of the lot behind our house, where we park.  Then I went to see why our dryer isn’t working (it’s not even turning on…yay!).  I couldn’t figure anything out about it.  Then I spoke with one of our tenants and decided not to try and patch the skylight that was leaking last week, and instead have someone else with more “expertise” look at it.

After that, I worked on some marketing materials and contacts for the Birth Relaxation Kit that Madhavi and I created for expectant mothers and birth partners (we’re really excited about this hypnosis for childbirth program we created!).  I finally dragged myself away from the computer at 5:30pm and decided to go food shopping.  Mind you, Madhavi has the car, so I mounted my bike, equip with a few back packs.

I stopped and talked with neighbors on my way.  Don asked me why, if Madhavi is in NYC, I am going food shopping.  My answer was that we have very little to eat in the house.  The real answer is that I am a bit of a loser!  After all, this is not the first time I have gone food shopping on a Saturday night.  Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one at Whole Foods.  Apparently I’m not the only loser in this city.

At least I got some exercise on my bike.

I got home and made dinner.  Now, I would venture that most men would not be cooking if their wife was away, especially if they were the ones cooking on most nights because their wife was the main bread-winner.  Well, I’m not most men.  Not only did I make myself dinner.  I made a typically healthy one at that, including sauteed kale and all.  Not only that, I didn’t even listen to music while I made it.  I listened to these downloaded marketing mentorship calls from Clay Collins (the marketing guy, not the country singer).

Hello?!  I’m a musician and I’m listening to marketing advice while making dinner, while my wife is out of town on a Saturday night!

Okay.  It was only about 8pm by the time I finished dinner.  It was early yet.  I could still make some plans.  I did call my friend Rocco to try and catch up with him for a drink maybe.  Voice mail.  I thought I would get some more work done before I reached out to anyone else.

I continued uploading a little marketing piece for The Birth Relaxation Kit onto YouTube.  I also answered a few comments on our other blog related to fear free birth (which I plan on transferring as a page on this blog in the near future..probably on a Saturday night :) ).

The next thing I knew it was 11:30.  I decided if I’m going to go out, now is the time.  I even stood up and walked to the kitchen.  I thought about ice cream.  I would really like some Ben and Jerry’s right about now, but I’m not sure any place is open that would have it.  I realized I’m not going out.  Loser.

I thought about writing this post, and here I am finishing it.

Post Script

After thinking about it, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a loser.  In all seriousness, I am a papa.  I am a different Jeremy than I once was.  I have had a lot of fun in my days as a bachelor and “rock star.”  I still have fun.  But right now I am enjoying the quiet of my house.  I also enjoyed the time I got to work on things uninterrupted, which is rare these days.  I decided to work on those things because of my responsibility as a father…and certainly because Madhavi and I have goals that extend beyond Philadelphia, and beyond “working” in the sense that our culture deems socially acceptable.  I even sacrificed playing music today, for the sake of furthering some other goals.

Luckily, I have tomorrow…Tomorrow is about hitting the Indian buffet at Karma and working on some new music…

And cleaning out the basement.  Doh!

Compostable Disposable Diapers From Broody Chick

So after a recent trip our family took, I have been researching a lot about cloth diaper travel solutions.  We decided not to use cloth diapers on our 5-day vacation to New England because:

  • We didn’t want to spend our precious vacation time doing laundry (which would have been two laundry sessions in a 5-day period).
  • Using someone else’s washing machine meant Anjali’s cloth diapers would be exposed to all of the other detergents built up in the machine.  We’ve been pretty particular about having a natural detergent for her.
  • We didn’t want to deal with soiled cloth diapers on an 8-10 hour car ride to and from our destination.

We ended up using disposables (which is what we have been using at nighttime currently because the cloth diapers would leak from the volume of pee through the sleeping hours).  But in my research I discovered a few other options.

One option is to use disposable liners.  In this case, we would just lay the disposable liners in our cloth diaper covers–either wool or PUL (waterproof).  The liner would get flushed.  The problem with these is that the pee still gets through to the diaper cover, so we would still be dealing with soiled covers on vacation.

Then I found another solution: Broody Chick.  They are disposable diapers.  But they are super-disposable diapers, because:

Broody Chicks are 100% natural, and they are 100% compostable!

According to reviews, they are as absorbent as Pampers and Huggies.  They don’t have awful chemical or perfume smells.  They are not rough. They are a true solution to travel and disposable nighttime diapering.

They do cost more than a regular disposable.  But often the eco-friendly thing to do has either a monetary or time cost.

I also highly suggest buying compostable bags with these, either from Broody Chick, Gdiaper or anyone else that makes them.

To truly be eco-friendly and compostable, you need to put them in a compostable diaper bags.  If you just put them in a regular trash bag it defeats the purpose of being biodegradable.

These seem like a great solution for us, especially because right now we’re fairly committed to disposables for nighttime.  I don’t like the idea of us adding to the mass of disposable diapers in landfills.  I think it’s worth paying more money to make the eco-friendly choice.

Price Comparison With Huggies Pure and Natural

Broody Chicks are $17.99 for a 32 count on Amazon.  Huggies Pure And Natural are around the $20 mark on Amazon, for a 60 count.  Clearly, you wouldn’t be buying Broody Chick for the price.  And, of course, add in a pack of disposable bags.  A 50 count of the Broody Chick compostable diaper bags is a little shy of $8.

Again, this is an eco- and health-friendly choice.  This isn’t about price.  Ideally, this is for families who use cloth diapers but need a disposable alternative for trips or nighttime.

Clean Air For Our Kids: Mom’s Clean Air Force

Madhavi and I have made a lot of changes in our lives in order to have:

  • Better drinking water in our house.
  • No chemical/toxic cleaning products in our house.
  • Less pollutants tracked in from outside (by ditching our shoes at the door).
  • Local and organic foods for the most part.
  • No microwaved food for Anjali.
  • No flame-retardant-chemical mattresses.

So why would we want Anjali to play out side if we knew there were elevated levels of mercury and other toxins in the air?  We wouldn’t.

Unfortunately, at this very moment, pro-polluters are actively lobbying to dismantle government regulations such as the Clean Air Act.  This is at a time when more than 9 million children suffer from asthma and childhood cancer rates are rising dramatically.

Thank goodness Derek Markham, an activist who blogs at Natural Papa, got in touch with me about Moms Clean Air Force (MCAF).  MCAF is a growing community of moms, dads and others who are uniting to defend clean air for everybody, especially our kids.  The project aims to prevent Congress from limiting the EPA’s authority to ensure clean air for everybody, especially our kids.

If you want to find out more and support this important movement, just click Join the Force.

I also encourage any of you bloggers out there to write about this issue to let your readers know they can join too.  Just email me and let me know if you need more information.

Go The F**K To Sleep



Madhavi got me this book, Go the F**k to Sleep.  I was surprised, because there are many times she has been the voice of calm and reason when I am having trouble helping Anjali to sleep (“Change directions…Read books…Play with her until she’s tired…Give up and try later…”).

Okay, I didn’t want to admit that this book speaks to me.  I’m supposed to be the loving, calm AP papa.  But my guess is this book hits home with pretty much every parent, because every one of us has struggled with getting our little ones to sleep at one time or another.

It will make you laugh, even if you don’t want to admit you have thought the words.

I know I have thought these very words (Go the F**k to Sleep) on several occasions, like when I have already read 5 books to Anjali (or the same book 5 times); or when I’m completely exhausted myself, and it’s taking 30-40 minutes for her to wind down and even consider sleep as an option; or when she suddenly wants to sit on the potty (after she just peed!), go swimming, read books, play with toys, etc. (anything but lay down in the bed!).

Growing Our Own Food

Kale, collards, chard, tomatoes and squash picked just yesterday

We joined an awesome community garden more than 2 years ago, called “Seedy Acres.” :)

Last year there was no way we were able to do anything with our little 8X15 ft. plot, with Anjali being quite a newborn handful.  I managed to turn and amend the soil, and that was about it.  That was fertile ground for some healthy weeds!

This year we got in there and made it happen.  It has been super-rewarding, and Anjali is really enjoying being in there.  I like giving her an early sense of where food comes from, and being more connected with the earth and things that grow (okay, I am a hippie at heart (see previous post)).

But seriously, there is an unfortunate epidemic of kids, especially urban kids, being very disconnected with nature.

I see how easily it happens in our city.  It’s sad, really.  Madhavi and I are making an effort to get out into green more often, even if it means having to drive a little ways to get there.

I intuitively know how important having Anjali playing and exploring in natural, outdoor settings is.  Even the Journal of American Medicine agrees, as does the The Children & Nature Network (C&NN), which ”was created to encourage and support the people and organizations working nationally and internationally to reconnect children with nature.” [ 1. http://www.cnaturenet.org/02_rsrch_studies/PDFs/Burdette_LookingBeyond.pdf. ]

Some of the benefits of children being immersed in nature regularly:

  • Increased creativity, better problem solving skills, more focus, and better self discipline. [ 2. Eren Hays San Pedro, The Benefits Of Getting Into Nature With Your Kids, July 26, 2010, http://simpleorganic.net/the-benefits-of-getting-into-nature-with-your-kids/. ]
  • Social benefits like better cooperation in groups, greater flexibility, and self-awareness. [ 3. Eren Hays San Pedro, The Benefits Of Getting Into Nature With Your Kids, July 26, 2010, http://simpleorganic.net/the-benefits-of-getting-into-nature-with-your-kids/. ]
  • Stress reduction, reduced aggression and increased happiness.

Umm…Adults need to heed the message here.  It is my contention that we have such high rates of depression in our culture as a result of our increasingly sedentary, indoor lifestyle.

Others definitely agree.  In other words, we need to get out of our desk chairs, off our computers (ahem….okay.  I will, just after this post!), and into the great outdoors for a walk, a bike ride, a jog, gardening, swimming, whatever!

What We Are Picking

Every day, either first thing in the morning, or sometime just before sunset, I we walk to our little garden, just a block away.  We pick what’s ready to be picked, weed a tiny bit (less so with all the buggies attacking us these days) and water the plants.  There are 3 shared raspberry bushes that Anjali really loves.  I can’t pick them fast enough before she’s asking for more.

Satellite squash (I wish I were a better photographer 'cause this thing is sweet looking!)

Just about everyday I walk out of the garden with kale, collards and chard.  At this point, every other day we harvest a giant zucchini and some tomatoes (mostly cherry).  We’re also growing beans, purple peppers, lettuce, basil, cucumber (that plant recently bit the dust :( ) and this awesome satellite squash.

It doesn’t get fresher than picking veggies and eating them that day.

Maybe next year we’ll expand into our newly acquired plot of land behind our house!  Until then, let’s see how much our Seedy Acres plot will yield…

Music For Toddlers: A Few CDs Break Free Of The Lameness

Thus far, I have found very few children’s music that I like.  Often, I default to playing “regular” music for Anjali.  We have a pretty eclectic collection of stuff.

I don’t necessarily think it’s a matter of what Anjali likes, although she definitely responds more to certain music.  Mainly, I think she enjoys music that motivates her to shake her body to.  This is probably the case with most kids.  I think what I’m searching for is music that we all like.

There seem to be so many lame children’s albums out there.  Either the sounds they use are cheesy, the music is just blah, or the approach is overly simplistic.

They Might Be Giants


There are currently three children’s CDs we all agree on in our house.  One is They Might Be Giants: Here Come The 123s. Anjali absolutely loves some of these songs.  The songs are clever, catchy and funny.  The music and production is fantastic (no wonder this CD/DVD) won a Grammy.  These are songs that any adult can appreciate and sing along to as well.  And there is an entire DVD with fantastic videos as well.  These are pretty much the only videos Anjali watches at this point, besides a great Spanish video (more on that later).

They Might Be Giants also has Here Come the ABCs and Here Comes Science, also great CDs.  Our favorite is the 123s though.

Putamayo


The other two CDs we listen listen to a ton are part of the Putamayo series.   ANIMAL PLAYGROUND has really playful and clever songs about animals from around the world.  At least, I know the ones in english are playful and clever.  From the bits I can understand of the other languages (Portuguese, Spanish, Italian and more), those songs are playful and clever too!).  Anjali loves to dance to some of these songs.  Here current favorite is Cantiga do Sapo, a North Brazilian forro about a little singing frog.  Like the 123s, this CD does not come off solely as “music for kids,” but simply great music for anyone.

The other Putamayo CD we have is FRENCH PLAYGROUND.
I’ll be honest.  My french is not so good.  But even more reason to say that the music on this CD is fantastic.  We simply don’t get bored of it.  We sing along.  We dance.  We love it.  Like the Animal Playground CD, French Playground highlights various artists.  In this case, they’re from France, Haiti, Canada and more.  The CD includes all of the lyrics and translations too.

From experience, I think it might be wise for us to check out more of the Putamayo kids series.  Putamayo generally does not disappoint.

One thing I’m fairly certain of: making children’s music is deceptively hard.  Maybe someday I’ll take a crack at it.

I’d love to hear what other people are liking for and with their kids.  Simply comment below.

Homemade Deodorant: I Am Not A Hippie!

Indeed, I was once a Grateful-Dead-listening-long-hair-Birkenstock-wearing “hippie.”  That is no longer the case.  Well, maybe that’s only partially true.  I started wearing Birkenstocks again, and I wear completely natural, homemade deodorant.

Today I am making my first attempt at making my own deodorant.  I have been using this stuff for the past few years, but Madhavi has been making it for me.  Today I’m on my own.  I just walked with Anjali to Penn Herb, a local store that sells (as the name implies) herbs, homeopathic remedies and other things natural.

Why Would You Want To Do That?

Deodorant may not strike you as one of those things you want to make. The main reason we decided to make our own is to avoid Aluminum, and other chemicals (parabens mainly),  found in most deodorants and anti-perspirants.  Aluminum in deodorants has been linked to Alzheimer’s Disease 1 and breast cancer. 2  Aluminum is the ingredient in anti-perspirants that blocks your sweat glands.  Doesn’t it seem a bit unhealthy to make yourself not sweat?

Both of us have tried all sorts of store-bought natural deodorants, only to find that most completely suck.  I realized I was better off using nothing than buying some of these products.

Then I read that baking soda worked incredibly well.  In fact, Arm and Hammer made a baking soda, aluminum-free deodorant, but discontinued it.  I guess not enough people were interested.  I thought about just mixing baking soda and water, as I read that some people do that.  But then Madhavi found this recipe at Angry Chicken.

The Ingredients 3

  • 3 Tbsp. Shea Butter
  • 3 Tbsp. Baking Soda
  • 2 Tbsp. Corn Starch
  • 2 Tbsp. Cocoa Butter
  • 2 Vitamin E Oil Gel Caps
  • a few drops of essential oil (we use lavender)

I’m leaving out the vitamin E.

This Is How Easy It Is

Madhavi melts all of the ingredients, mixes them in a little glass jar, and then lets them set in the fridge.  The jar we use looks like this (this is empty…I still have to make it today :) ):

This stuff works better than ANY deodorant I have ever used and is totally natural! It lasts a really long time too.  I think this jar will get me through 9 months or more.  I just take a pea-size amount in my fingers, mush it around a bit so it gets soft, and apply.

Madhavi found that it irritates her skin, so she is still left with less perfect solutions.  I have not had this problem at all.

Give it a try.  I’ll let you know how mine turns out.

  1. http://www.controlyourimpact.com/articles/deodorants-antiperspirants-and-your-health/.
  2. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/AP-Deo.
  3. Amy Karol, Homemade Deodorant (yup), http://angrychicken.typepad.com/angry_chicken/2008/07/homemade-deodor.html.