Category Archives: lifestyle/family

Time Saving Tips For Food Prep

I just chopped a pound and a half of shiitake mushrooms for the week.  That’s just one of the things I prepared in advance.

I am a bit of a loser, yes.

But if you read on you will pick up some tips to save you precious minutes–even hours–of otherwise wasted time (that is, unless you love spending time chopping vegetables, recreating lists unnecessarily and wasting time at the market, in which case you might want to come back to my blog for the next post).

As I have mentioned in other posts, we are constantly trying to do things around this house more efficiently…Everything from paying bills to food prep.  For example, I set it up so I have almost all of my bills due within 2 or 3 days of each other, so I only have to sit down once a month to pay them all (there’s a tip for you before I got to my official list :) )

Maybe some of the stuff seems anal, or at least overly organized.

The purpose, however, is to free up time, the most valuable thing any of us have.

I would much rather have more time to really be with Anjali than to waste it paying bills.  I cherish an extra 15-30 minutes I may get each day to write or practice music rather than having to repeat boring tasks in the kitchen.  And if Madhavi and I plan to reach financial goals in order to free up more time, every minute counts, and I don’t want to waste time recreating the wheel when it comes to meal planning, shopping lists and food prep.

The other thing is that we don’t want to sacrifice the quality of our food or meals for the sake of saving time.  We eat very little processed food anymore…No more prepared, frozen dinners, canned soups, cereal, etc.

Okay, now that I have justified myself (thus proving that I do feel a little lame being so practicalorganized and effective), here are some tips for you in no particular order.

  • Create a master shopping list.  This list should include the staple items for your household–anything you use every week.  An example: we make green smoothies every morning, so bananas, pineapple and greens are items on our master list.  You print out a copy of the master list, cross off anything you don’t need and add items you do need that week.  Prior to doing this I was wasting time and mental energy going through the cabinets trying to re-create what was already a given.  If you want to get ultra-geeky, like me, you can divide your list by sections of the grocery store.  I put all produce on one side of the paper, and all other items on the other.
  • Plan your meals for the week.  This is tried and true.  The idea here is to batch the task of figuring out what you will eat every day, rather than spending time and energy staring at the fridge saying, “what should we eat?”  This will also save you time at the grocery store.  I probably used to spend at least a half hour more at the store because I was just buying and trying to figure out what I would use them for on the fly.
  • Chop what you can for the entire week. As I mentioned earlier, I chopped a bunch of mushrooms.  We make miso soupevery day (also a time saver, I know exactly what I am eating for lunch and don’t have to waste time figuring that out everyday.  Plus, it’s super yummy!).  I realized that I save time if I chop them all in advance for the week.  This is another batching thing.  Of course, there are certain things that won’t work out so well.  If I washed all the mushrooms in advance, they would start to go bad sooner.  Consider chopping celery or onion in advance and freezing it to quickly add to soups (as long as it isn’t left in the freezer for too long).  Chop all of your greens for the week (we use a lot of greens, so this saves us a ton of time).  My mom used to chop ginger and garlic and put it in little foil packets in the freezer to quickly grab when preparing meals.
  • Keep a folder or binder with your favorite and/or most used recipes. I am getting really tired of sifting through a dozen cook books to figure out what we are going to eat that week.  The fact is, we really use 2-3 of them the most.  We copied the recipes we liked out of the others and kicked those space-wasters to the curb (we live in a row home in Philly…we’re also constantly improving the use of our space :) ).  After some trial and error we will find a good balance of meals we like a lot that don’t take a tone of time to prepare.  Those meals go into the binder, thus making my meal planning less draining and time-wasting.
  • Slow Cooker Meals.  My new thing is doing one slow cooker meal a week.  It is so easy to just chop a bunch of things (or even easier if they are chopped in advance!), throw them in the cooker and walk away for 6 hours.  Plus, the house smells awesome.
  • Same breakfast, same lunch. I kinda mentioned this already.  But at the risk of sounding boring, we eat the same breakfast every morning, and the same lunch, more or less, every afternoon.  Oatmeal and green juice in the morning (used to be that plus eggs, but we’re moving toward being vegan), miso soup and salad for lunch (we might add something else in for lunch, like a leftover dinner or beans and rice…But something easy to reheat).  The point is, I don’t have to think at all to prepare these meals.  This saves and energy.  It also helps perfect the things I make for those meals.  Our miso soup is so ridiculously good at this point.
  • Shop at odd times. I hate when we’re low on food and I have to go shopping on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.  I cannot freakin’ stand bumping into other people’s carts, or waiting for people to move out of my way so I can reach some cucumbers.  And parking lots totally suck at peak hours (it takes me almost as long to park as it does for me to drive to the store!).  That is why I like to shop (okay, this is going to really qualify me as a loser) on a Saturday or Sunday night, like around 9pm.  Most of the time I go with Anjali on a Monday or Tuesday mid-morning, which is also a fair time to shop–not too crowded.  By the way, when I was single, I used to go shopping at this 24 hour Pathmark at 2 or 3 in the morning, after a regular gig I had.  I had that place completely to myself; it was kinda creepy.

I have a lot of other seemingly odd-ball time-saving tricks.  I’ll fill you in on some others later.  I wonder if any of you have some helpful or even strange tips for maximizing quality time.

Thanks for indulging me!

Stay At Home Parents

That title, of course, is a misnomer.

Neither I, nor Anjali or Madhavi, stay home all day, unless of course we’re completely snowed in. Even then we’re likely to go out and jump around in the snow.

But that’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post comes at the end. But to make my point I realize I have to tell you that I am no longer the only “stay at home parent” in our house. Madhavi has actually been working from home part-time since March.  Her choice to leave her full-time work came after Anjali was born. It was only a bit more than a year later that she left her job entirely without a net.

As they say, “leap and the net will appear.”

It did. Although our income took a big hit, Madhavi now works half-happily at home using many of the skills from her years of training in Neurology and medicine. I say half-happily because while she fulfills a dream of hers–to work from home–and she has much more time with Anjali (and me incidentally :) ), she hasn’t reached her goal yet. That goal is to work for herself 100%.  I, of course, work for myself already.  But I join her in the goal of running our own business.

Both of us working from home (beside the fact that I also work “in the field” when I have gigs) allows us to focus on Anjali, and for her to focus on us. It also gives us time to work on developing our businesses that will one day soon free Madhavi from working for anyone else.

The balance is tricky…Work…Child…Starting a business.  The freedom of working at home can also be our demise. We have learned much (the hard way) about time management.

While the goal for us is freedom from alarm clocks, location independence and reduction of “work” hours, now is certainly not the time to sleep late, spend a ton of money traveling or blowing off working or tackling a daily checklist.

On the other hand, that our lives now revolve around home, so to speak, means that not a day passes that we don’t each enjoy time with Anjali and time with each other.

For example, today, like most days, we ate breakfast together.  Then Madhavi and Anjali went to Mommy And Me Yoga (hilariously, neither of them got to do much yoga, but that’s a post for another time).  In that time I was able to get some work done.  Then we ate lunch together.   Madhavi went to our office to work, Anjali took a nap and I got some more things done.  When Anjali woke up, she and I went to the bank, to the park and to the library (three places she thoroughly enjoys…the library the most…she tells me “I sad, library closed” when it’s time to close…super cute).  Shortly after we got  back Madhavi finished work.  We ate dinner, Anjali watched a Spot DVD.  Then bath time and bed for her and Mama.

The point is, we’re trying to strike a balance between living now and getting where we want to be.  It’s always a struggle to set aside certain fun activities, parties or splurges because it means more time or more funds to support our bigger picture goals.  And yet, as lame as it might be to quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”


I Am A Stay At Home Dad In The Truest Sense…

You may or may not notice by the date and time this post was published, so I will point it out to you.

It is 11:58pm on a Saturday night.  I am not performing, rocking out as it were.  I am not having a drink with friends at one of the many trendy bars in my hip neighborhood, Northern Liberties.  I am not even at a coffee shop drinking some important coffee.

I am at home, blogging on a Saturday night.  I truly live up to my moniker as a stay-at-home-papa.

Let me go on, and bask in my geek-dom.

Mind you, Madhavi and Anjali are in NYC.  They left this afternoon around 1pm.   They are staying with a friend over night.  They are coming back tomorrow early evening.  What have I done since they left?  Oh, this is too exciting.

First, I pulled weeds out of the lot behind our house, where we park.  Then I went to see why our dryer isn’t working (it’s not even turning on…yay!).  I couldn’t figure anything out about it.  Then I spoke with one of our tenants and decided not to try and patch the skylight that was leaking last week, and instead have someone else with more “expertise” look at it.

After that, I worked on some marketing materials and contacts for the Birth Relaxation Kit that Madhavi and I created for expectant mothers and birth partners (we’re really excited about this hypnosis for childbirth program we created!).  I finally dragged myself away from the computer at 5:30pm and decided to go food shopping.  Mind you, Madhavi has the car, so I mounted my bike, equip with a few back packs.

I stopped and talked with neighbors on my way.  Don asked me why, if Madhavi is in NYC, I am going food shopping.  My answer was that we have very little to eat in the house.  The real answer is that I am a bit of a loser!  After all, this is not the first time I have gone food shopping on a Saturday night.  Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one at Whole Foods.  Apparently I’m not the only loser in this city.

At least I got some exercise on my bike.

I got home and made dinner.  Now, I would venture that most men would not be cooking if their wife was away, especially if they were the ones cooking on most nights because their wife was the main bread-winner.  Well, I’m not most men.  Not only did I make myself dinner.  I made a typically healthy one at that, including sauteed kale and all.  Not only that, I didn’t even listen to music while I made it.  I listened to these downloaded marketing mentorship calls from Clay Collins (the marketing guy, not the country singer).

Hello?!  I’m a musician and I’m listening to marketing advice while making dinner, while my wife is out of town on a Saturday night!

Okay.  It was only about 8pm by the time I finished dinner.  It was early yet.  I could still make some plans.  I did call my friend Rocco to try and catch up with him for a drink maybe.  Voice mail.  I thought I would get some more work done before I reached out to anyone else.

I continued uploading a little marketing piece for The Birth Relaxation Kit onto YouTube.  I also answered a few comments on our other blog related to fear free birth (which I plan on transferring as a page on this blog in the near future..probably on a Saturday night :) ).

The next thing I knew it was 11:30.  I decided if I’m going to go out, now is the time.  I even stood up and walked to the kitchen.  I thought about ice cream.  I would really like some Ben and Jerry’s right about now, but I’m not sure any place is open that would have it.  I realized I’m not going out.  Loser.

I thought about writing this post, and here I am finishing it.

Post Script

After thinking about it, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a loser.  In all seriousness, I am a papa.  I am a different Jeremy than I once was.  I have had a lot of fun in my days as a bachelor and “rock star.”  I still have fun.  But right now I am enjoying the quiet of my house.  I also enjoyed the time I got to work on things uninterrupted, which is rare these days.  I decided to work on those things because of my responsibility as a father…and certainly because Madhavi and I have goals that extend beyond Philadelphia, and beyond “working” in the sense that our culture deems socially acceptable.  I even sacrificed playing music today, for the sake of furthering some other goals.

Luckily, I have tomorrow…Tomorrow is about hitting the Indian buffet at Karma and working on some new music…

And cleaning out the basement.  Doh!

Growing Our Own Food

Kale, collards, chard, tomatoes and squash picked just yesterday

We joined an awesome community garden more than 2 years ago, called “Seedy Acres.” :)

Last year there was no way we were able to do anything with our little 8X15 ft. plot, with Anjali being quite a newborn handful.  I managed to turn and amend the soil, and that was about it.  That was fertile ground for some healthy weeds!

This year we got in there and made it happen.  It has been super-rewarding, and Anjali is really enjoying being in there.  I like giving her an early sense of where food comes from, and being more connected with the earth and things that grow (okay, I am a hippie at heart (see previous post)).

But seriously, there is an unfortunate epidemic of kids, especially urban kids, being very disconnected with nature.

I see how easily it happens in our city.  It’s sad, really.  Madhavi and I are making an effort to get out into green more often, even if it means having to drive a little ways to get there.

I intuitively know how important having Anjali playing and exploring in natural, outdoor settings is.  Even the Journal of American Medicine agrees, as does the The Children & Nature Network (C&NN), which ”was created to encourage and support the people and organizations working nationally and internationally to reconnect children with nature.” [ 1. http://www.cnaturenet.org/02_rsrch_studies/PDFs/Burdette_LookingBeyond.pdf. ]

Some of the benefits of children being immersed in nature regularly:

  • Increased creativity, better problem solving skills, more focus, and better self discipline. [ 2. Eren Hays San Pedro, The Benefits Of Getting Into Nature With Your Kids, July 26, 2010, http://simpleorganic.net/the-benefits-of-getting-into-nature-with-your-kids/. ]
  • Social benefits like better cooperation in groups, greater flexibility, and self-awareness. [ 3. Eren Hays San Pedro, The Benefits Of Getting Into Nature With Your Kids, July 26, 2010, http://simpleorganic.net/the-benefits-of-getting-into-nature-with-your-kids/. ]
  • Stress reduction, reduced aggression and increased happiness.

Umm…Adults need to heed the message here.  It is my contention that we have such high rates of depression in our culture as a result of our increasingly sedentary, indoor lifestyle.

Others definitely agree.  In other words, we need to get out of our desk chairs, off our computers (ahem….okay.  I will, just after this post!), and into the great outdoors for a walk, a bike ride, a jog, gardening, swimming, whatever!

What We Are Picking

Every day, either first thing in the morning, or sometime just before sunset, I we walk to our little garden, just a block away.  We pick what’s ready to be picked, weed a tiny bit (less so with all the buggies attacking us these days) and water the plants.  There are 3 shared raspberry bushes that Anjali really loves.  I can’t pick them fast enough before she’s asking for more.

Satellite squash (I wish I were a better photographer 'cause this thing is sweet looking!)

Just about everyday I walk out of the garden with kale, collards and chard.  At this point, every other day we harvest a giant zucchini and some tomatoes (mostly cherry).  We’re also growing beans, purple peppers, lettuce, basil, cucumber (that plant recently bit the dust :( ) and this awesome satellite squash.

It doesn’t get fresher than picking veggies and eating them that day.

Maybe next year we’ll expand into our newly acquired plot of land behind our house!  Until then, let’s see how much our Seedy Acres plot will yield…

The Cost Of Convenience: Health and Environment

I have been thinking about this theory I have about convenience items. I haven’t really developed the theory or anything. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.

The idea is this:
Items or products of convenience come with health and environmental costs.

Here are some examples:

Disposable diapers.  Apparently 28 billion are used a year, with 92% ending up in landfills.   Disposable diapers are the third largest single consumer item in landfills, and represent about 4% of solid waste.  In a house with a child in diapers, disposables make up 50% of household waste.  You can read more about this AT www.realdiaperassociation.org

Food at convenience stores (if we can really call it food) is anything but healthful, with ingredient lists that read like novels.

Foods that are packaged to stay fresh for way longer than the foods real shelf-life often use toxic plastics that are often un-recycle-able.

Cars…Need I say more?

I’d be curious to hear what you think of this notion, and/or to hear some examples you think of.

On the flipside, what are some exceptions.  That is, what are some natural occurring things of convenience?

Why Papa Didn’t Go On Tour With Ms. Lauryn Hill…Again

At first it all really seemed like bad timing. 14 months ago, I found out about this audition for Lauryn Hill. I did it and got the gig. Unfortunately, the gig was in Australia and New Zealand. Yes, you’re probably thinking I’m nuts for saying that is unfortunate. But the tour was about 2 weeks before Anjali was “due” to be born. That’s the unfortunate part. Well, that, and the fact that they were offering me lame pay for the amount of time I would be away, rehearse and do pre-production for her so called next CD.

Recently, I was asked to do a 5 week tour (2 weeks were local gigs in NYC and 3 were all over the states). Madhavi and I considered it, and we were able to work out some details, such that Madhavi could take minimal days off, spend time with her sister and nieces in North Carolina, and I would be away for 3 weeks.

It was all a bit of a scramble, because I was to do a gig the night after I confirmed I was doing the tour. They sent me music, which I got at midnight, and stayed up until 4 listening to and learning. After a night of no sleep, I drove to NYC for the 1 pm soundcheck/rehearsal and show, only to find out the gig is canceled and we were to rehearse in north Jersey. I waited at her house in N. Jersey for about 4 hours before we started rehearsing. It was then I found out that the CD of music I was given to learn was old and the arrangements were not current. What a waste of time (and sleep!).

Rehearsal was pretty unorganized, although all of the musicians nice, and great players. Also, her band was a redundant monstrosity, with 3 keyboard players and 3 guitarists. Ms. Hill (as she expects to be called) showed up around 9pm, and proceeded to disassemble one small section of one song for about an hour, by telling everyone to change what they were playing. Keep in mind, I and one of the guitar players were completely new to this band, and the next show was the next night. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and yet another waste of time. But it gave me a window into why everything surrounding Ms. Hill is so disorganized: she is in the driver seat.

At 10 o’clock Ms. Hill decided it was best that the band get up to speed on the material, rather than her rearranging everything. By 10:45 I was totally tweaked. I had gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep, spent 3 hours driving in the snow to NYC and N. Jersey, and was spent from trying to cram on all of this new material. The general chaos of everything surrounding the band, tour and Ms. Hill wasn’t helping either.

All through the evening I was questioning whether this was worth it. Did I really want to abandon my family, for relatively meager pay, for 3 weeks? Did I want to basically be on call for whenever Ms. Hill decided to rehearse (the band members told me they sometimes rehearse until 4 or 5 am, and one time on tour, Ms. Hill called a rehearsal at 1 am!). Sure, many people would think, “This is Lauryn Hill, a great singer, a multi-grammy winner, and on and on…” I even thought that this is something I wanted to do–to experience that type of tour, to have that kind of credit on my resume and even to enjoy being on the road, being a full-time musician.

But what the Ms. Hill camp displayed was at the least disorganized, and more likely rather schizophrenic.

So, at about 10:45pm, I stood up, started unplugging my keyboard and said, “I can’t do this.” The bass player said he wasn’t surprised. One of the guitarists said, “You are doing the right thing.” I thanked Ms. Hill for the opportunity (though I wanted to tell her that this whole operation was freakin’ nuts, that she was treating her musicians like crap–expecting so much of them for what probably equates to less than minimum wage computed hourly!) and drove home to my family.

It was good timing, because Anjali awoke at 4 am vomiting with a stomach bug, and Madhavi got sick a day or so later.

A few days after the decision to bail on the tour, I had some regret. But I know I absolutely made the right decision. At the time I left that rehearsal, something was just telling me to run. I’m glad I trusted my intuition.

I am so grateful to Madhavi for supporting me to go in the first place, as it would have been hard on her for me to be away for such a long time. It would have been really hard to be away from my family. Madhavi was helpful in helping me shake any guilt about potentially going on the tour, and regrets about turning it down.

That’s my Ms. Hill story. I figure the right opportunity will find me if I want it, and at the right time.

How To Graciously Accept Criticism and Admit You’re Wrong

This process of being a husband and a father is, well, just that: a process.  I am constantly striving to be a better husband and parent, and constantly failing, flailing and trying to remove my foot from my mouth.  But I will persist and grow.  That is a promise I keep giving myself.  It keeps me going.

One of the problems I face–or rather, I cause–is that I don’t take criticism well.  I take it too personally.  I feel like each critique is like another small stone added to a huge pile that I carry on my back.  Instead of taking the stone and looking at it–seeing it for what it is–I simply pile it on my back and try to bear the weight.  Ultimately I become defensive, and even try to turn the critique around on the other person as an excuse.

My wife is the closest person to me, so of course most critique laid on me is from her.  That is to say, it is with her I share everything: love, sadness, happiness, frustration, peace, criticism, etc.  But this means that if she is the one that points my faults out the most–faults that directly affect her–then she is also the one that receives  my defensiveness the most.  That is frustrating and often painful for her.

So how do I make strides to accept criticism and admit I’m wrong?  I have only scratched the surface of the answer.  But here are some things I have learned:

  • First of all, changing your habits is difficult.  My, how they persist! Be patient with yourself.
  • Listen more; talk less. And when listening, really listen.  Then consider what was said and internalize it.  Also, do not use this as an excuse to be silent or unresponsive as a defense.  If you need time to think about it, communicate that to the other person and don’t stew on it forever.
  • Try to step into the other person’s shoes.  See that they are critiquing you because they are trying to help you, but also because what you are doing is directly affecting them.
  • There is a delicate balance between accepting the criticism as an isolated incident, and noticing that your behavior has a pattern.  This goes back to the stone analogy I made earlier.  On the one hand, I try to see the isolated criticism as a single stone rather than one that adds to the pile.  This way I am not overwhelmed, saying, “You keep criticizing me for everything.”  Although it may feel like that, I have to realize that it’s just not true.  On the other hand, I need to match that stone up with all of the similar stones.  That will help me see patterns in my behavior.
  • Seeing the patterns in behavior is the first step to changing them, but…
  • Actually changing behavior that has been ingrained for decades is very challenging.  One thing I try is to think about things away from the incident.  This is easier said than done because once everything appears resolved–when everything is calm–we often forget to go back and reflect.  Maybe it’s good to make this type of reflection a habit, like first thing in the morning, or right before bed.
  • Practice makes perfect.  Each time I do accept criticism and don’t get defensive or clam up, that makes me better at doing it, and more likely that I’ll do it the next time.
  • Writing things down helps.  I need to do this more.  When I write down things that I want to change, or goals that I have, and reflect on them even fairly regularly, I actually find myself naturally doing things to implement them.  3×5 cards can be helpful.

I know that I will continue to make mistakes along the way.  But, as I said earlier,  I will persist.  I will be a better husband and father each day.

Getting Through The Construction

Just wanted to give you a little update.  I have transferred Stay At Home Papa from Blogger to WordPress, so things are still a bit under construction.  Design is a work in progress.  Thanks for bearing with me, and your suggestions are welcome.

For subscribers that haven’t been receiving emails or feeds since the transfer, I am working to resolve these issues.  Thanks.

Parental Convenience And Its Ecological Effects

Today I link you back to Eco Child’s Play for a guest post I did back in August.  To be honest, I hadn’t realized it had been published until today.  So check out Parental Convenience And Its Ecological Effects and let me know what you think.

A Sleeping Baby Is A Ticking Time Bomb – How To Be More Efficient With The Time You’re Allotted

It’s 1pm and I just helped Anjali to sleep.  She’s sleeping peacefully in our room.  We have had a good time today, so far.  We went for a walk.  We had breakfast and lunch together.  We played on the third floor with drums and toys.  We climbed the steps.  We’ve had a lot of pees in the potty today thanks to elimination communication.  We even shared a morning nap together (she slept on my chest so I didn’t disturb her by getting up).

Now half the day is gone and I haven’t accomplished a long list of work and things I have set out to do.  So this is my opportunity.  Of course, here I am blog posting.  But I want to take a few minutes to relay some tips that have helped me be more efficient with my time, especially when I have a 9 month old daughter who could wake up at any moment.  Here goes:

  1. Make a “To Do” list and prioritize it.  I often fail on prioritizing, but I am working on that.
  2. Get the most important, life-changing items done on your list first. What do I mean by life changing?  The things that will move you toward your big-picture goals.  That means, don’t get bogged down with things that seem urgent, like email or bills.  For example, if I want to work on promoting my new CD, Battery, I need to work on the items on that list first, before anything else.
  3. Check email no more than 2 times a day.  This is a recommendation from Timothy Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week.  His contention is that email, PDAs and the like have actually bog us down with more minutia and delay us from reaching our bigger goals.
  4. Batch items on your list, especially minutia.  That means if you have a bunch of related tasks, try to get them done in a batch, rather than attacking them a little bit at a time, here and there.  Paying bills is a perfect batching item.  Same thing goes for meal prep for the week and food shopping. Get it all done up front, so when it comes dinner time you’re not staring at the fridge wondering what to make.
  5. Set a timer.  When I check email nowadays, I set a timer for a half hour.  The timer tells me when I’m done, and it’s time to move on to other tasks.  While this may make you feel more like the ticking time bomb is inevitably going to go off (and it is, trust me), it will help you prioritize within the task.  With email, for example, it forces me to be shorter with my emails, and to decide which things should be answered first.

Okay, so those are a few tips for you.  Some of those ideas come from Michael Masterson, and some from Tim Ferriss.  Both are worthy authors and worth checking out.