It is Saturday. Yay! My wife, Madhavi, does not have to go into work today, which means no alarm going off at 5:45 A.M. We sleep late. I sleep until 7:10 and Madhavi and Anjali until close to 8. Wow, can I really call myself a musician, going to bed and waking up so early? Some of my co-musicians are getting into bed when I am waking up! Not for me anymore.
After a few peaceful waking moments in the family bed Madhavi mentions that Anjali probably has to potty. That makes sense, as we usually potty her first thing when she wakes. I take her into her room where we have our red Baby Bjorn potty 
on the changing table. I take off Anjali’s diaper, which is wet from the night (we gave up on pottying her in the middle of the night; you just end up with an upset and awake baby). I ask if she wants to potty and show her the sign.
I sit her on the potty which is right in front of a large mirror. She looks in the mirror at me and smiles and makes some cooing sounds. I give a huge smile and say, “hi!” This is a ritual by her 6th month. After a few moments she poops. I acknowledge that with a smile, but not over-excitedly. I give a few more minutes in case there is more. Then I sign and say, “finished,” take her off of the potty.
“But wait,” you say. “Why are you putting your 6th month old on the potty and how in the world did you train her to do that trick?”
Though she was in front of a mirror, I can assure you this is not a trick. Nor would I call it training, although I can see why we might call it that. We call it Elimination Communication, or EC, which is a practice of using cues, timing, and intuition to facilitate an infant’s need to eliminate. The term was coined by Ingrid Bauer in her book, Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene.
Although the idea is to help the infant become diaper free and “potty trained” earlier on than is typical in Western culture, emphasis is put on communication with the infant, and tending to their needs as part of baby-led parenting. The practice is nothing new. Bauer herself found mothers using these practices in her travels to India and Africa.
Here’s a short list of the basics and some pics of Anjali on the potty):
- Discover potty cues. These could be squirming, fussing, stopping and staring, or some other signs. We notice early on that Anjali would squirm and make a short “Eh” exclamation. Her cues have changed over time and are harder to read as she has become more active and object-oriented. I also found it helpful to lay her on some mats diaperless and observe her. When she peed I saw the sign clearly.
- Hold your baby over the potty or container and give potty cues. We use a “Sssss” sound with Anjali, and this is fairly common. You can also run a faucet as a cue. For pooping some people use a grunting sound, but we just used the same “Sssss” sound and it worked. I tell you I was so amazed when, two weeks after Anjali was born, I thought I would just try to hold her over the potty, cue her and see what would happen. She peed right after my cue! Is “Sssss” some kind of universal cue we are born with? We have also incorporated sign language as communication with Anjali, so the potty sign becomes a cue as well.
- Make potty attempts in the morning or after naps. This is a logical time to have to go. We find that most of the time she does go in the morning or after naps. This is a worthwhile habit even if you are a part-time EC-er or don’t really consider yourself an EC-er at all.
- If the baby fusses on the potty then take him/her off. Anjali is very clear when she is not interested in being on the potty. She either fusses, cries, or simply pushes off with her legs.
- Don’t overly praise or get overly excited when the baby goes. As I said, at first I was amazed and excited when Anjali peed in the potty in her first two weeks. Subsequently it has become no big deal, and it shouldn’t be. It is a normal bodily function and it doesn’t have to be something special. Also, don’t treat it as a trick that your baby does or put on demonstrations.
- Remember it is called Elimination Communication. The key word is communication. You are fostering a strong bond with your baby. This is not training in the common sense of the word. You are following their cues and giving yours. You are there to help them get to the potty, as they cannot do that themselves early on. I find we have less “misses” when I am very attentive to Anjali. Of course, some days are better or worse than others. Some days she is good at cuing. Some days not. Some days she is cuing but I am distracted. Some days she is too involved in playing to cue. Or the cues change. I feel that EC has really helped me create a strong bond with my daughter. I figure the “diaper-free” part will happen in due time.
That being said, I do believe Anjali will be free from diapers well before age two. It is common for children that do EC to be “potty trained” prior to age 2. We are already putting things that are more like underwear on her. The Continuum Family training pants are great. And Madhavi just bought some new training pants (I’ll let you know when we get them).
One of my friends said, “That all sounds like a lot of work,” and pictured us constantly cleaning up pee and poop off of the floor. I will say that I have been peed on, as has the floor. That is because we try to give her some diaper-free time to allow more freedom of movement. However, Anjali does not poop in her diaper, and hasn’t for a few months. Also, I would say we have had to change a poopy diaper no more than 10 times in these first 6. That, to me, sounds like less work.
Furthermore, I figure you’re either going to have to put in the “work” now or later. So I may be spending more time communicating with Anjali, and sitting her on the potty, etc. But I won’t have to have some struggle with her when at age 2 when I suddenly tell her that eliminating in her diaper is not acceptable (though I hear I’ll have plenty of other struggles at age 2!). If I have this right, the norm is to let the baby poop and pee in a disposable diaper and wear it around until the parent decides to change the diaper. This, I believe, goes on until age 2, or in many cases until age 3. At around age 2 or 3 you suddenly have to un-train them.
Also, I don’t want my baby sitting in a wet or poopy diaper. So, even when we have “misses” we are attentive enough to get her out of a wet diaper very soon after she pees. I suppose disposable diapers are so super absorbent nowadays mainly for the parents’ convenience; so they don’t have to change the diaper as often.
Of course, I am not trying to brag that my child is capable of doing this, or fault anyone for simply following the norms of our culture. I just believe any infant is capable of EC if given the chance. Again, this practice is nothing new world wide, and it is certainly growing in Western culture. Even MSNBC and the Associated Press has noted it, as in this article.
Some products we use for Easy EC:
BABY LEGS - With baby legs you can keep your baby warm while being diaper free or when only wearing a diaper. Not having to remove layers and layers when Anjali has to go has made a huge difference.
BABYBJÖRN SMART POTTY - Don’t settle for any potty. We like that you can remove the insert to spill out pees and poops. Simple and easy. We don’t go for the potties with “bells and whistles” (literally)
BABYBJÖRN TOILET TRAINER – This is great for when your baby is a little older. We call this the “big” potty.
Some books we found helpful:
