Category Archives: development

Does Baby Led Weaning Foster Earlier Independence? Radha’s Theory

Posted on December 22, 2010 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

I was thinking today about something my friend Radha said to me a little while back.  He was theorizing that baby led weaning (which we are doing with Anjali and he and his wife Sheila are doing with Uma) really fosters more independence in babies.

The idea is that you are letting your baby eat on their own.  They explore food when they are ready.  They develop eating skills as other skills develop (ie, when they can use a pincer grasp, they can eat smaller foods, like peas, and not choke).  You are generally not spoon-feeding them mashed foods (we do tend to spoon or finger feed oatmeal to Anjali in the mornings), and they are getting a sense of whole and individual foods, rather than a puree combination that may be unrecognizable as the original food.

Radha’s theory is that eating independence extends into other aspects of their lives.  In other words, because you are giving them independence to eat on their own, they are likely to be more exploratory, more willing to try things on their own and perhaps faster to develop new skills.

I think there is something to this notion.  But I only have the direct experience with Anjali, Uma and a few others, so what do I really know.  I do see them all thriving so much.  I’m curious what others think of this idea, or any related experiences you have had.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development, health

Tagged , , ,

My Baby Doesn’t Eat Baby Food: Baby Led Weaning

Posted on December 16, 2010 by Jeremy| 4 Comments

It just dawned on me today that Anjali doesn’t eat baby food, nor has she ever eaten it.  It struck me as a bit strange, because you just figure a baby eats baby food.  But really, a baby can skip baby foodand just eat food. Admittedly, we planned it this way.  But after a few months of it, it just became normal.  It’s called Baby Led Weaning.

What is Baby Led Weaning

Baby led weaning is, according to wikipedia,  “a method of gradually weaning a baby from a milk diet onto solid foods. It allows a baby to control his solid food intake by self-feeding from the very beginning of the weaning process.”

Really, baby-led weaning is just a term, and the wikipedia definition is just a way more thorough way of saying that a baby will start to eat when they are ready.  When your baby starts reaching for your food, is able to pick it up and bring it to their mouth, they are ready to start exploring food.  Prior to that, their mother’s milk is just fine.  As long as you are giving your baby milk, eating does not have to start at some designated time (commonly taught now as 4 months).

As they explore they will develop the skill.  As they develop new skills, like the pincer grasp, they will have more control over what they eat.

Our Experience With BLW

Just to give you an idea.  Sometime during her 5th month, Anjali started exploring food.  This was mainly raw veggies cut into holdable pieces–things like cucumber, carrot and zucchini sticks.  She was pretty much “playing” at this point.  Eventually, she could break pieces off with her gums (those teeth hiding in there are no joke!), and she started to eat the food.  Keep in mind, Anjali continued to nurse and drink mama’s milk.  Milk continued to be her main source of food, nutrition, protection and comfort for several months.

Ikea Antilop High Chair

By 6 or 7 months, Anjali was really eating all kind of things–raw, steamed and cooked every which way.  Well, we kept her away from foods that were fried and salty.  Also, no refined sugar or dairy.  We stuck to veggies mostly.  Fruit and some meats and fish next.  Raw egg was a good one too.  We would put her in her Ikea Antilop chair with her food, and let her go to it.  Often we would just give her food while she was on our laps, or on the floor.  We would try to give her whole foods mostly.    We would make some things especially for her, like the occasional applesauce.  We would also try to cut things into shapes that she could handle easier.  But, in general, she would eat what we were eating.

Now, at 10 months, Anjali is eating so many things.  I just shared my rice with kale, eggplant, bok choy and tofu with her.  She simply drops what she doesn’t want on the floor and goes for the rest. Now that she has a good pincer grasp, she can pick up the smallest pieces of rice, beans, oats, etc.  We continue to keep her sugar and salt intake down.  She has a bit of dairy–yogurt and things cooked with butter.  No peanuts.

Helpful Tools For BLW

  • A good, easy-to-clean high chair, like the Antelop.
  • Good, water-proof bibs.
  • Lots of inexpensive sheets (ours are also care of Ikea for $2 a piece) to put on the floor, under the high chair.  This can get messy.
  • Soft cloth for wiping baby’s mouth (they don’t like the wipe down, so try to ease their discomfort).

BLW Helps You Re-evaluate What You’re Eating

Well, I can’t say I have changed my eating habits.  We already eat pretty healthily consciously.  But watching Anjali’s salt and sugar intake, while letting her eat the same food we are eating, has made us think twice about those things in our diet.

There’s a great photo-time line post for BLW at ALivingFamily.com.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development, health

Bumbo Not Good For Babies’ Development

Posted on December 2, 2010 by Jeremy| 7 Comments

Have you heard of the Bumbo baby seat?  Apparently, this convenient infant sitting device is not so good for a baby’s development. Made By Wartburg Enterprises, the Bumbo is a single-piece seat made of a low-density foam.  It’s a deep seat, with a high back and sides.   There are leg holes, which fit to a baby’s size, and also a front support so the baby won’t fall out.

Essentially, it is yet another product that gets a baby doing some physical activity before they are developmentally ready–in this case, sitting upright.  Some parents ask “Is sitting bad for babies?”  Although the sitting posture is the least favorable posture for any human’s back, it is not bad for babies specifically.  In terms of the Bumbo, although it was designed with a baby’s posture in mind, the Bumbo is apparently bad for development.

“Stay At Home Papa uses and recommends the ERGO BABY CARRIER
and MOBY WRAP
as wonderful and safe alternatives to the Bumbo.”

Lots Of People Really Like The Bumbo

Someone lent me a Bumbo to try out.  I thought it was a really cool idea.  I sat Anjali in it around 3 month, and I was thinking, “This is great.  She can sit there while I practice piano or tabla.”  And then I took a closer look.  She looked anything but comfortable.  The Bumbo seemed to be almost forcefully holding her in an up right sitting position.  My wife looked into it, and sure enough she found many sources that suggested this thing was potentially harmful for her posture, and is likely to delay her ability to sit up on her own.  That was the last we saw of the Bumbo.  You know, if we can just wait until she’s ready to do stuff, Anjali will develop just fine.  Indeed, at about 5 months she was sitting up on her own.

The Bumbo is one of many products out there that are convenient for parents, seem are enjoyable (in many cases) for the baby, but is actually hindering the baby’s physical development.  Some other products that fall into this category are Jumperoos, walkers, baby bouncer jumpers and certain baby activity centers.

“Well I bought one for my son because it sounded neato to me (sorry) but he didn’t really like to sit in it. Well, he never protested but he didn’t look very comfortable so we never had him sit in it. He’s 6 months old now and can sit by himself so I guess it was just a big waste of $ for us! Go figure, the one babyholder gadget we buy and it’s a flop. haha!
All he wants is his Moby or Ergo!” –Quote from Mothering.com forum discussion.

The Problems With The Bumbo
So are the issues with the Bumbo baby seat, or the Bumbo Baby Sitter seat?  Well, the funny thing is, Wartburg Enterprises got an orthopedic therapist to claim, “The Bumbo seat stabilizes the child into slight hip flexion, placing the pelvis in a slight anterior pelvic tilt which facilitates lumbar extension.”  Huh?!  Really, what the Bumbo is doing is using a deep seat and raised leg holes to keep the baby in this semi-contorted position.  Of course they can’t fall!  And that is not a comfy sitting position. Try it yourself and see how long you last.

Furthermore, the baby really has nothing to do while sitting in there.  It is yet another detachment (from parents) device…A way for the parent to be hands free.  Sure, we all want that at times.  But the makers of the Bumbo claim that this thing is recommended for babies as early as 8 weeks!  I think at 8 weeks it is more recommend to hold your baby and create a strong bond.  Maybe that’s just an attachment parenting thing to say, but I strongly believe that forming that closeness and warmth very early will actually help your child develop and gain a strong sense of independence when they are ready.

Worse still, often people become lax or even negligent when they put their baby in some device like the Bumbo or activity center.  They figure that the device is holding them and keeping them safe.   Well, with the Bumbo, it was not safe.  In fact, there was a Bumbo baby seat recall of nearly one million bumbo baby sitters from 2003 to 2007.

Great Alternatives To The Bumbo

You can read my post on alternatives to the Bumbo seat.  But in a nutshell, I recommend using more attached “devices.”  By that I mean to use carriers and wraps such as the Ergo or Moby.  The benefits of using these:

  • Like the Bumbo, these carriers and wraps allow you to be hands free.
  • Unlike the Bumbo, your baby is close to you–attached.
  • Your baby is part of the action.  She is learning all the time as you carry her through your world.  This is such a great way for babies to actively learn.
  • You are providing security for your baby.  This is especially important in those early months, and this security will soon blossom into independence.
  • More exercise for you!
  • You are not leaving your child unattended at all.  They go where you go.  Completely safe.

In Defense of Bumbo
Some people defend these products, saying things like, “Well, my baby really seems to enjoy it,” or, “They are walking [sitting, playing, etc.] so well in it and having fun!”  I do not argue with that.  But just because it is fun for the baby doesn’t mean it is healthy for them.  Before Anjali could turn herself and go feet-first down a step, she tried to dive bomb head first.  Does that mean I should let her try that?!

Perhaps I’m ranting now.  But I feel bad for the babies.  I just think people need to re-evaluate their priorities, and take some responsibility, rather than depending on some “expert,” or worse yet, some corporation, to tell them what is best for their baby, themselves and their family.

Also, in defense of the Bumbo, some physical therapists use it to help developmentally challenged children, as those with Downs Syndrome, so there may be a few positives (besides parental convenience).  Finally, I certainly cannot blame the Bumbo or the company that manufactures them for the horrific injuries resulting from parents’ negligence.  That blame goes directly to the idiots who put their kids in this baby seat atop a table or chairs, resulting in serious injuries.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in attachment parenting, development

Tagged , , , ,

Tunnel Vision: Do We Sometimes Forget They Were In The Womb But A Short Time Ago?

Posted on November 4, 2010 by Jeremy| Leave a comment


I don’t know about you, but I sometimes have to remind myself that Anjali is only 8 1/2 months old. I mean, I don’t forget her age, or that she is a baby. It’s just that I can’t remember what it was like before Anjali was in our lives. I get into habits and routines that are likely my imposed habits and routines, and I forget that most things are still new to Anjali. She is still a fairly blank slate.

For example, I was just thinking about how I used to wear Anjali in the Ergo carrier much more (’til my feet were sore in the mornings!). I forget sometimes, like when she is tired but having trouble falling asleep in the bed. Granted, Anjali is super-mobile now (crawling, climbing and starting to stand on her own). But she is still little. She is still so happy to be in arms, and snuggled into her carrier or wrap with Madhavi or me. We still use these things a lot, and don’t have a stroller–just not as much as we once did.

The in-arms phase is far from over. Anjali is quite independent, and at the same time very much in need of close contact. Maybe this is obvious to other people, but I needed to say it.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development

Baby Led Weaning: No Teeth? No Problem.

Posted on October 25, 2010 by Jeremy| Leave a comment


Prior to Anjali’s birth, we saw this book called Baby Led Weaning. Maybe it’s just in our nature to do things “differently,” like with EC, sign-language, homebirth, etc. But this seemed fascinating. As we read the book it seemed only logical.

The idea is that we let Anjali explore food on her own and we just supervise. This means that we don’t puree everything and shovel it into her mouth with a spoon. Instead, once she expressed interest in food, by reaching for food on our plates for example, we gave her chunks of food so she could “play” with it. The idea here is that she continued to get nutrition from breast milk, and at the same time she could explore the taste and texture of solid food. Check out Anjali eating a pear with no teeth.

There are many benefits of Baby Led Weaning. Here are some I thought of:

  • Good for fine motor development as baby handles food using hands, fingers and mouth.
  • Baby develops chewing skills, even before teeth. We were amazed at first, but Anjali, toothless at 8 months, is eating plenty of solid foods: chunks of apples, pieces of chicken, cucumbers, etc.
  • Baby develops skills to avoid gagging. When we first started baby led weaning with Anjali (around 6 months), she gagged (not choked; there’s a difference!) a bunch. Now she’s a pro.
  • Baby eats very independently which fosters independence in other areas of development. I–and other friends who do baby led weaning with their kids–believe Anjali is more independent in play, crawling, etc in part due to the independence we allow her when eating.
  • A carrot is a carrot. Baby enjoys the actual shape and texture of a food, rather than a mashed up version of it. Sure, Anjali likes applesauce (which she manages very adeptly with her hands!), but she knows an apple for an apple.
  • Less work for parents: We let Anjali enjoy the same meal we are eating, for the most part. We don’t tons of time pureeing foods or buying purees at the market. It also helps us re-assess what we are eating. For example, since we don’t want Anjali to eat salty foods, we have to cut down ourselves.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development, health

Papa’s First Solo Mission: How I Deal When Mama Is Away For The Night

Posted on October 18, 2010 by Jeremy| 2 Comments

Madhavi had a big board exam related to her job last Friday. So, we agreed that she should stay at a hotel the night before to ensure her a solid night’s sleep. Big step! My first night alone with Anjali, and the first night mama and daughter were separated.

I wasn’t worried. Just mentally prepared for little sleep and some challenging moments. Keep in mind, Madhavi, Anjali and I share a bed. We have a queen mattress and a twin mattress butted up against each other. Madhavi and Anjali are most often in the queen, and I am next to them in the twin.

Without a blow by blow description, I’ll give you some highlights and comments:

  • Anjali went to sleep easily, laying next to me on the bed, with only 2 minutes of fussing. Tired! That was around 8pm
  • With me in bed by 10pm, Anjali woke up just about every hour. Fun, fun.
  • I decided to potty her at some of the wakings. I have been finding that she does have to pee, she is holding it and she falls back to sleep a little easier, even after crying because I put her on the potty.
  • I only fed her once, around 2pm. Even then, she did not so much want to eat. I also gave her teething tablets–Hyland’s–since Madhavi has discovered she usually sleeps better after having those little marshmallow-looking tablets. I thought it was interesting that she didn’t really want milk. Maybe this is proof that her nursing at night is really about comfort, and not so much about food. However, Madhavi meanwhile pumped a ton of milk last night, so clearly Anjali is eating a lot at night.
  • Anjali would wake, cry and fuss. I decided not to just pick her up and rock her to sleep. Instead I let her roll or crawl around until she plopped down and fell asleep again. A couple times she plopped right across my chest, or nestled up to me and fell asleep again. Sometimes I would sing quietly to her. But this plopping down and falling asleep without me picking her up is new. She was tired!
  • At one waking she was fussing, moving around and crying–even sitting up. This went on for about 5-10 minutes. I kept laying there. Finally, I told her very matter-of-fact: “I know mama isn’t here. I know this is difficult. But you’re tired and you need to sleep. You don’t have to cry. Just lay down and sleep if you’re tired. If you’re not then play. You can sleep on me or next to me. You can have a blanket, or not. Whatever you you choose. But no more crying–sleep.” She stopped crying when I started talking. And a moment later she did lay down and doze off. I don’t know how long that sleep lasted. But I was just amazed that she understood me. She may not have understood my word per se. But she understood my tone and meaning.

Needless to say I was a bit bleary-eyed at 7:30 AM, when Anjali woke. But I survived! We survived! That’s exactly what Madhavi said to me when she came home this afternoon: “We survived!”

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development, sleep

Why Is My Baby So Fussy? Must Be The Wonder Weeks

Posted on October 14, 2010 by Jeremy| 4 Comments

A great book that we have used for developmental guideposts is The Wonder Weeks. This book has been really helpful, and pretty much on point, when it comes to knowing when a baby will experience periods of fussiness as a result of developmental “leaps.” During these leaps babies’ skills and perception change drastically, which I imagine is pretty confusing and a bit freaky for them. They can become fussy and clingy. They may refuse to eat or nurse. They may sleep poorly. EC‘ers may experience potty “pauses.” After these somewhat troubling periods, babies emerge with new skills (that’s the fun part!).

The major developmental periods start at weeks 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37, 46 and 55, according to Hetty Van de Rijt and Frans Plooig, the authors of the book.

The Wonder Weeks has helped us to mentally prepare for such periods. When we know a developmental week is coming, we can take things like sleepless nights in stride (even if sleep deprived to the point of lunacy!). We’re not totally dumbfounded by Anjali’s behavior. We can give her the extra attention she may need.

Definitely worth reading!

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development

Did You Know About the Bumbo Recall?

Posted on September 21, 2010 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Bumbo recalled by CPSC

The fairly popular Bumbo, a premature sitting device for babies, was recalled bythe U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission several years ago.  The reason?  Like most recall: safety issues.

Products That Promote Premature Development For Babies
There is just a sea of baby products out there, and I know it is hard to find the time to investigate each of them to see how they may affect your child.  However, there is a group of products that encourages getting your baby to walk, sit or play in ways that are premature for their development.  They are designed to help your child–and they are even fun for babies–but they can actually be detrimental to their physical development.  Some of these products are baby activity centers, baby seats, Jumperoos and walkers.  Using some of these things to early–which is exactly how the companies that make them intended for them to be used–will actually hold them back.

What is a Bumbo And What Are The Problems?
The Bumbo Baby  Sitter is one of these products.  Made By Wartburg Enterprises, the Bumbo is a single-piece seat made of a low-density foam, and raised leg holes.  It is designed so that a baby as young as 8 weeks can “sit upright” in it.  However, the Bumbo basically puts the baby in a position in which they have no choice but to sit.  It looks uncomfortable to me, and apparently it is not a good sitting position.  It is also likely to delay a baby’s ability to sit up on his/her own.

Furthermore, it creates a detachment for baby and parent alike.  In such situations where a parent is hands free with their baby “safely” sitting in the Bumbo baby seat, they are likely to be lax or even negligent.  They may leave the baby unattended, or worse yet, put this thing on a table or chair.   This, is in fact what was happening earlier this decade.  From 2003 to 2007, as a result of negligent use of the Bumbo, Wartburg Enterprises decided to recall the product from stores, and issued precautionary warnings for current users.

Bumbo Recalled
During late 2007, The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), along with Bumbo International, South Africa, announced that consumers must immediately stop using the recalled products.  People were still using it after the recall!  The agency says it’s had 28 reports of young children falling out of the seats, and sustaining injuries that included three skull fractures suffered when kids fell out of Bumbo seats that had been placed on tables.  Doh!  Come on people!  Now, I feel that this product is problematic.  Others feel that the product is problematic.  But worse, I think many parents are problematic for thinking a seat (or a stroller, or a Jumperoo, or a walker, etc.) is going to substitute for good judgement.

Does this look comfy to you?

Yep, people continue to use the Bumbo.  I see pictures online of infants sitting in it, and it just looks weird to me.  You?

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development

Tagged , , , ,

What To Do If Your Baby Won’t Take A Bottle: Spoon or Cup Feed

Posted on August 27, 2010 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Anjali was exclusively breast-fed until about two weeks before Madhavi went back to work part-time. It was at this time we introduced the bottle. Lots of crying and frustration ensued (mainly on Anjali’s part, but she had me near tears a few times I’ll admit). We tried several bottles and nipples to no avail. What can I say, Anjali is not fooled by imitations, and I cannot blame her.

The solution was spoon feeding. We used a plastic medicine spoon not too unlike this:
This was a temporary solution, as we didn’t want her using this type of plastic spoon. After a little research we found the Medela Soft Feeder, which is a sort of hybrid bottle and spoon. With spoon and cup feeding you just hold the cup or spoon up to the baby’s mouth, resting on their bottom lip, and they lap and slurp it up like a cat. Pretty cute. It works great and we haven’t turned back. The bottle is simply the accepted form of milk delivery, so why feel like we have to convince or even force her to use it? Why not take the path of least resistance, and in the meantime help her develop her skills at cup and spoon feeding. Win-win.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in attachment parenting, development, health

Baby Bouncer: Does It Hinder Babies’ Development?

Posted on August 21, 2010 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Have you been using, or are you thinking of getting, a baby bouncer for your baby?  While babies really seem to enjoy these, and it certainly gives mommy and daddy a hands-free opportunity in those early months, studies have shown that they teach poor movement skills, and are likely slowing down their standing and walking development. Furthermore, baby bouncers are associated with about 2000 injuries each year, due to defective parts and parental negligence.

To avoid confusion, some people interchange the words bouncers

Safety First Baby Bouncer

with jumpers, like the jumperoo.  I am referring to these devices and not items like the Safety First Baby Bouncer as pictured here.

The Problems With Bouncers

Bumbos, Walkers, jumpers, baby swings and bouncers are all devices that create a lot of fun for your baby.  And it’s easy to get excited while your baby is enjoying themselves so much.  But all three of these things may slow your baby’s physical development.  I’m not saying that it will permanently damage them, although it is possible in some cases.  What I’m saying is, these things are allowing babies to use the wrong muscles for the particular movement the device is created to enhance.  They are all essentially crutches.  They are certainly not getting your baby to stand, walk, self-soothe or bounce any earlier.  In fact, they are more likely to delay these movements.

In a Child: Care, Health & Development study by Abbott, A.L.; Bartlett, D. J., it was shown that “infants with high equipment use tend to score lower on infant motor development.”

Furthermore, devices like baby bouncers teach poor movement patterns such as toe walking, high extensor tone and poor pelvic position and control.

If You Do Choose To Let Your Baby Use A Baby Bouncer

If you choose to ignore studies and anecdotal evidence as I noted above, at least try to use the baby bouncer jumper as instructed, and take proper safety precautions.

Safety First

First of all, whether you buy a premium baby bouncer or the best baby bouncer, you should carefully inspect it to make sure it is safe.  Make sure there are no defective, broken or damaged parts.  All parts should be firmly attached.  And test the bouncer to make sure it isn’t going to tip.

Time Limit

Second, don’t keep your baby in the bouncer for more than 30 minutes.  I would say no more than 15 minutes (although I would really recommend skipping the baby bouncer altogether!).  The American Academy Of Pediatrics says that too much time in a bouncer can lead to flattened head syndrome, which can last throughout life.  Yikes!

Where You Should Use The Bouncer

Third, keep the bouncer on the floor, and never on some elevated surface like a chair, ottoman or table.  Your baby can easily bounce themselves right off of these things and injure themselves.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Posted in development

Tagged , , , ,