Author Archives: Jeremy

Stay At Home Parents

Posted on December 6, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

That title, of course, is a misnomer.

Neither I, nor Anjali or Madhavi, stay home all day, unless of course we’re completely snowed in. Even then we’re likely to go out and jump around in the snow.

But that’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post comes at the end. But to make my point I realize I have to tell you that I am no longer the only “stay at home parent” in our house. Madhavi has actually been working from home part-time since March.  Her choice to leave her full-time work came after Anjali was born. It was only a bit more than a year later that she left her job entirely without a net.

As they say, “leap and the net will appear.”

It did. Although our income took a big hit, Madhavi now works half-happily at home using many of the skills from her years of training in Neurology and medicine. I say half-happily because while she fulfills a dream of hers–to work from home–and she has much more time with Anjali (and me incidentally :) ), she hasn’t reached her goal yet. That goal is to work for herself 100%.  I, of course, work for myself already.  But I join her in the goal of running our own business.

Both of us working from home (beside the fact that I also work “in the field” when I have gigs) allows us to focus on Anjali, and for her to focus on us. It also gives us time to work on developing our businesses that will one day soon free Madhavi from working for anyone else.

The balance is tricky…Work…Child…Starting a business.  The freedom of working at home can also be our demise. We have learned much (the hard way) about time management.

While the goal for us is freedom from alarm clocks, location independence and reduction of “work” hours, now is certainly not the time to sleep late, spend a ton of money traveling or blowing off working or tackling a daily checklist.

On the other hand, that our lives now revolve around home, so to speak, means that not a day passes that we don’t each enjoy time with Anjali and time with each other.

For example, today, like most days, we ate breakfast together.  Then Madhavi and Anjali went to Mommy And Me Yoga (hilariously, neither of them got to do much yoga, but that’s a post for another time).  In that time I was able to get some work done.  Then we ate lunch together.   Madhavi went to our office to work, Anjali took a nap and I got some more things done.  When Anjali woke up, she and I went to the bank, to the park and to the library (three places she thoroughly enjoys…the library the most…she tells me “I sad, library closed” when it’s time to close…super cute).  Shortly after we got  back Madhavi finished work.  We ate dinner, Anjali watched a Spot DVD.  Then bath time and bed for her and Mama.

The point is, we’re trying to strike a balance between living now and getting where we want to be.  It’s always a struggle to set aside certain fun activities, parties or splurges because it means more time or more funds to support our bigger picture goals.  And yet, as lame as it might be to quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”


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How To Get Rid Of Fleas Naturally

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Diatomaceous Earth - A natural powder that kills fleas


We had fleas.  I think it was my fault.

Well, it was partially my fault.  I brought them home post- painting and cleaning after our tenants moved from of the apartment we rent out.

I curse them in ways I definitely wouldn’t want Anjali to hear.  I know they knew they had fleas.  I found little strips sticky flea paper taped to different places in the apartment.  Why couldn’t they just tell me?  I would have bombed that place right away (which is what I ended up doing once I figured it out).

But as it is, I must have brought fleas home, at which point they attached themselves to our cat, and/or nested in our basement.  They attacked me for a while.  Once they were done with my meatless bones they moved onto Madhavi.

Bombing the apartment where no one was living was one thing.  I certainly didn’t want to bomb our entire house.  That would be a huge undertaking–covering and sealing off items that might get damaged from the fogger chemicals, getting rid of food and sequestering our family, including Fuzzy our cat.

We did end up bombing our basement, but the rest was done naturally.  I’ll tell you how to get rid of fleas, step by step.

1. Buy a flea fogger.

Okay, so this is the part that involves the toxic stuff.  If you are fogging, there is no way around noxious chemicals that can be harmful to your (and your children’s) health if inhaled or ingested.

However, you are only bombing the basement and you are sealing off the door or any large openings to the rest of your house.

Buy Raid Flea Fogger or Hot Shot Bedbug and Flea Fogger. Both will work fine.  You really only need 1 or 2 cans per fogging, though you can buy them as a 3 or 6 pack.  One can of Raid covers 600-700 Sq. Ft.  That was enough to work in our basement.  But as you may repeat this process another time, you can go for the 3 or 6 pack.

Don’t pull the trigger yet!

2. Buy Diotomaceous Earth.

“What is that,” you are likely asking?  Diatomaceous Earthis a naturally occurring substance formed from the shells of a type of algae. The algae’s silicon shells fall off when they die and fossilize in the earth. Grinding what’s left into a powder consistency produces a chemical-free alternative for flea control.  This powder kills fleas by drying them out.

Perma-Guard: food-grade diatomaceous earth


I suggest getting the food-grade kind, like the one made by Nature’s Wisdom or Perma-Guard.  This is because you are going to be laying this stuff all over your house, or at least in the areas you think the fleas are.  Any leftover traces could be swallowed by a child or pet.  You could eat the food-grade Diatomaceous Earth and you would be fine.

Admittedly, Diatomaceous Earth is a bit pricey.  Alternatively, you can use Borax, the old laundry detergent.  But you would be laying chemicals all over your floors, carpet and upholstery.  I don’t recommend it.  Plus, Borax is not as effective as Diatomaceous Earth.

You can also put this stuff on your pets, and I recommend you do.  We put it on our cat.

3. Plan to be out of the house for 5-6 hours, and keep your pets safe.

To play it safe, because you are fogging your basement, you should stay out of the house for 5-6 hours.  We made sure our cat’s litter box was out of the basement.  We sealed off the basement door entirely with plastic and tape.

4. Strip the beds and wash all clothing, towels and bedding.

Fleas like dark, warm, fuzzy places.  Wash everything you can in a hot cycle.

5. Spread generous amounts of Diatomaceous Earth on the floors and upholstery which may be infested with fleas or flea eggs.

Don’t be skimpy.  You need to lay it on thick.  We put it on all floors in our house.  We also put it on certain furniture which we thought was compromised.  For example, we were getting most of our flea bites near our sofa on the first floor, and in our bedroom.

We stripped our beds and put Diatomaceous Earth on the mattresses (we don’t have box springs, but if you do I suggest putting it in between the mattress and box spring).  We put the stuff on our sofa, and made sure it got into any crevices.

Use a broom to get the powder into the cracks of the floor boards.  This is especially important on the first floor.

Here’s the scoop: Many flea infestations centralize in the basement because those fleas love dark, damp places. So when fog the basement the fleas are going to try to escape through the ceiling of the basement and through the floor boards.  But it’s a trap because you will have put down enough Diatomaceous Earth to dry them all out.

6. Fog the basement and get out for 5-6 hours.

Remember to seal the door and keep your pet as far away as possible, if not out of the house altogether.

7. Vacuum like mad.

Okay, this part really sucks.  That powder is dense.  It took me several hours to get it all up.  It was especially a lot of work to get it out of few carpets we have.  I recommend first sweeping it into piles, put them in a dust pan and throw them out.  Then vacuum.

Don’t forget to trash your vacuum bag!

8. Follow Up.

Some people recommend doing this entire process again in about 10 days.  The theory is that the fogger and Diatomaceous Earth do not kill the eggs.  So, you need a do-over when the eggs hatch.

After my marathon vacuuming session, I decided it would be just as effective to vacuum daily for the next couple of weeks, and be especially vigilant in the places where we were getting bitten the most.

We used the Diatomaceous Earth once more, only on our first floor and sofa.  Otherwise, we just vigilantly vacuumed and changed our bed sheets a bit more frequently.

The fleas are gone!

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Parent Directed Vs. Child Led Discovery

Posted on October 12, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

I am constantly at odds with myself about my approach toward various daily activities Anjali does, or activities I do with her.  I go back and forth between being a “teacher” or being a “facilitator.”

In theory, Madhavi and I both lean toward being facilitators rather than teachers.  We want Anjali to discover things for herself, with us acting more as guides and  providing a safe environment for her to do so.

I think a great environment for children to learn in is one in which parents provide a safe environment and then step out of the way, even if we have to watch our children make a mess, fall or do things “wrong” a handful of times.

It can be a challenge to get out of the way and let Anjali do what she wants to do to discover things for herself.  It is hard in a world wrought with rules, where we know the “proper” way to do things, to let go and let her explore possibilities.  It can be irritating to watch Anjali make a complete mess that I have to clean up.

It is fascinating watching Anjali stand on a step stool at the kitchen sink and learn to manipulate water, or learn cause and effect (If I pour this here, it fills up there, etc.).  It is also tough to stand back and let her spill the water all over the floor.

It can be frustrating when Anjali wants to wear her jacket when it’s 85 degrees and humid outside.  But I figure she will realize she is hot and sweaty as a result, and learn the cause and effect of her action.  And she will learn more directly that way, rather than me explaining the consequence.

I think Anjali learned to handle a glass of water early on because we were willing to nervously let her try.  We just made sure to provide a glass that was durable.

Sometimes, of course, it is hard to let go.  It is hard to step out of our parent directed teaching to let our children learn by their own discovery.

Here is an example…

Dinner Time

Here is a typical dinner as of late.

Madhavi and I are sitting at the table, or sometimes on a blanket on the floor, eating dinner.  Anjali seems relatively uninterested in eating.  We have long since stopped putting her in a high-chair.  She usually stands on a chair at the table instead.  She starts at one chair and quickly makes her rounds to Madhavi’s lap, then another chair and then my lap.  Occasionally she picks at her plate or our plates, or allows us to offer her a morsel of food.

I am beginning to wonder if our vaguely designated time for dinner is an imposition on Anjali’s disinterest in scheduled, or even semi-scheduled, events.

Should Anjali be expected to eat just because we have decided it is dinner time?

In theory, we believe she should not be.  We figure she eats when she is hungry.  It’s fine if she doesn’t want to eat now.

Again, that’s the theory.  The problem is that if she doesn’t eat now, or right after her bath, before bed (which I call “second dinner,” and is a typical occurrence), then she goes to bed hungry.  Who suffers then?  Both Madhavi and Anjali.  Anjali ends up hungry in the night, so she wakes more.  And guess what?  She nurses much more, keeping Madhavi from sleeping well too.

Take two

Some nights we keep telling Anjali she has to eat.  I am not sure she understands the consequences yet.  But there are nights when we do the very thing I hate doing–the thing I have seen other parents do that I don’t really want to do: we end up pushing the food on her, or saying things like, “you need to eat.”

I don’t think meals should be forced on children.  I just don’t want Madhavi to lose sleep because we have a constantly nursing toddler in the night.  Can you see the dilemma?  This is one we are back and forth on.

As She Grows She Knows

I tell myself to trust that, within reason, Anjali knows what she needs.  She knows if she is hungry.  She knows if she is hot or cold.  She knows if she is tired…Most of the time.  There are plenty of times she is tired but doesn’t want to go to sleep.  There are times when we know she’s hot, and she’s obviously uncomfortable, but she doesn’t realize all she has to do is take her jacket off.  There are also times when she may be uncomfortably hungry, but turns to nursing because it is comforting and nourishing.

What I have faith in is that Anjali will figure it out in time.  As she sees her actions have certain results, Anjali takes note eventually.  As she is better able to communicate verbally, the better we can directly understand what she wants and needs.

Rather than create rules, stick to schedules or deal out time-outs (or whatever the common toddler-punishment is these days), I would rather give Anjali an encouraging and safe environment where she can discover on her own, even if it means I have to work a little harder or alternatively step aside altogether.

Seeing her achieve on her own, even with a few bumps and bruises, is totally worth it.  And she seems to give back love over and over again in so many ways.

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Facing A Creative Road Block

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Sacrifice and change are two words that are synonymous with parenting.  I strongly believe in order to parent well–in order to really be present for your kids–you have to become a different person than you once were, and you have to sacrifice.

I don’t mean you need to be different at the core, or that you need to deny yourself of who you really are.  I mean that your time gets unevenly divided, weighing much heavier on time with your children, than personal time.  That is, if you want to be a direct part of your child’s life, then you must minimize the amount of time you defer to family, friends, nannies, day care or baby sitters.

So what I am grappling with lately is how loving and being with Anjali affects my creativity.

On the one hand, Anjali is a direct result of my creativity.  She is the being that Madhavi and I lovingly created and continue to shape daily, as well she recreates us and continues to shape us!

The flip side and reality is that my musical creativity is suffering.  When Anjali is napping, or anytime I have free time, I turn to my creative space and find that my musical libido is a bit tired.  Let’s face it, all of me is tired.  Being a parent is exhausting!

I am not completely dried up.  I am performing regularly.  I just haven’t written a new song in a long time.  Perhaps I’m just out of practice, or maybe it’s because my relationship with the world is so different now that I don’t know how to express myself through song like I used to.

All I know is that Dave, my bandmate and friend, once called me a musical gremlin.  Remember the movie Gremlins?  Pour some water on them and a dozen more gremlins are spontaneously created.  Well, Dave would say that great songs popped off of me just like gremlins.  I can tell you that Anjali spilled water on me at least a few times just today, and I still have no new songs.

Admittedly, the “free” time that I have been afforded in the last nine months has been put toward creating other income via a new business.  Certainly, that has devoured my energy.  I mean, it’s hard to feel inspired to write a song after spending a few hours building a website, creating a digital product or generally doing everything I can to get a business off the ground.

I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.  After all, they’re just songs.  On the other hand, the songs that I have written over the years feel like extensions of myself.  I breathed life into them because I truly felt something.  So that makes me think: ‘My god, WHY DON’T I FEEL SOMETHING?!’  I feel lots of things throughout my day.  Isn’t something going to inspire me to plunk something out on the piano or guitar, sing a melody and put some lyrics to it?

I turn back to a book called The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.

In this book, Steven Pressfield, author of The Legend Of Bagger Vance, talks about doing the work you are meant to do.  He urges you to treat your art like work.  You have to go to work everyday and just do it.  One day you may eek out a bunch of crap, and another you may tap into the muse and genius flows.

Either way, you do your work and that is how your overall body of work or art is created, not by sitting on your ass waiting for inspiration to strike.

I know this to be true.  I remember a great time in my life when I was writing every day.  Granted, I was not a parent and I was single.  I had this Mitsubishi Eclipse I bought from a friend for $250.  It had no radio, no CD player and no tape player.  I didn’t crowd my mind listening to music or “news.”  Instead, I wrote music.

I had a tape recorder  (this is just before digital recorders were a mainstay).  I would sing melodies and lyrics into that thing, sometimes developing whole songs on a long car ride.  Other times I would take the ideas home and finish the songs at a keyboard, or record them on an 8 track recorder (this is also before I had my computer studio set up).  I still have those tapes.  Every once in a while I will find one and listen to it, half embarrassed by how rough the ideas were, and half amazed at how inspired I obviously was.

I don’t think I need to get rid of my I-Pod or car stereo.  I don’t think Madhavi would appreciate it either, since we share a car.  Anjali would definitely hate that, as she loves to listen to songs over and over again in the car.  I do think, however, that it’s time to get back to work.  It’s time to stop blogging now, and hum, sing, tap, play piano…Whatever it takes to buzz myself back into writing rather than just playing music.

I may end up writing about going on the swings or excitedly seeing airplanes in the sky.  At least I’ll be writing.  I think if I allow myself to start there, I will eventually tap into my muse.

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Anjali’s Musical Tastes

Posted on September 23, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

At a little over a year and a half old, Anjali is expressing herself verbally more and more.  In the last two months she has had a language explosion.  It’s been really amazing and quite cute, since she says “sentences” like “Papa Fuzzy bath” (when we gave our cat a bath), or “Oh car, CD, beach,” because she’s excited to go in the car and listen to “Let Me Take You To The Beach,” by Frank Zappa.

That leads me to the point of this post.

Anjali’s musical tastes are ever-expanding and changing.  What I love (and sometimes hate) is that she latches onto a song and wants to hear it over and over again.  She gets such enjoyment from it, and it kind of reminds me of me (and Madhavi).  We like to really listen to something we like and suck everything out of it that we can.  I do this with books and movies as well.  The more I watch, read or listen, the more nuances I get out of it.  I like to think Anjali is doing this too.  She is exploding with language these days, so I imagine she is learning new words excitedly.

So what does she like to listen to over and over again?

  • Chege Meu Povo – Nacao Estrella Brillante: She loves to dance to this.  She bubbles over with joy and excitement when she hears it, and immediately starts dancing.  For a few weeks there when she said, “Dance,” I knew she meant put this song on over and over.
  • Let Me Take You To The Beach – Frank Zappa: We have been listening to this one since the very early days with Anjali.  But it has resurfaced with a force.  This has become the recent “car” song, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post.  We just hit the repeat button and she is happy.
  • Simple – Jeremy Dyen: What can I say?  My daughter has good taste!  For a while she wanted to hear the first song off of my Battery CD, called “Not More Than She.”  Then she latched onto “Simple,” which she now asks for by name.  This sort of alternates with “Beach” in the car.  I think she loves these two songs of mine because I played them on guitar for her a lot while I was rehearsing for my CD release party last April.


Ice Cream – Asheba: This is from the Putamayo Picnic Playground.  She laughs when this comes on and it’s the cutest.  Other favorites from this awesome CD (our new favorite!) are “Mes Parents Sont Bio” by Pascal Parisot and “Pomadoro” by Bomba.

    Espresso 2222: Gilberto Gil: All three of us love this one in the last few days.  I knew this song because I play it in Alo Brasil, my Brazilian band.  This version is so perfect, and it’s from another Putamayo compilation called Brazilian Playground.
Other music she really enjoys is:
  • Music from Capoeira Angola (Brazilian martial art).
  • Itsy Bitsy Spider, which she says, “Itsy Sabah!”
  • “Hey Ya,” by Outcast.  She loves to watch the video on You Tube.
  • Old MacDonald Had A Farm.
  • “Alphabet Lost And Found,” by They Might Be Giants.
  • “There’s A Party In My Tummy,” from Yo Gabba Gabba.

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Contrarians Have More Fun (Especially In The Rain)

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

Until recently, when it rained we made the obvious choice to stay inside.  Although I firmly believe we, especially kids, need to get outside everyday for at least a short period of time.  The air, the exercise, the stimulation and the exploring kids do are all great reasons to get out everyday, not to mention it’s fun to play with friends!

We have had record rain this summer, which means that we were destined to spend a lot of the summer cooped up in our house.  Multiple days in a row trapped inside is tough on toddlers.  That translates to being tough on parents who have to deal with stir crazy kids.

There are only so many block towers to be made, only so many drawings and only so many indoor I’m-gonna-get-you-chasing-games.  There are only so many videos we can watch (we only have three as it is).  Anjali wants to be swinging on swings, digging in the wood chips and climbing on climb-y things.

Enter 1 raincoat and 1 set of froggy rain boots for Anjali, and rain pants for mama and papa.



At the outset of Hurricane Irene in August, we decided to take a little walk to the Random Tea Room.  It  was just starting to rain.  We put on our gear and walked.  We had our tea.  On the way home it really started coming down.  Once we got home however, Anjali was having so much fun in the rain, walking through puddles, splashing and exploring, that we all decided to hang outside for a while.

Then Anjali and I took a walk around the neighborhood.

The look on her face was one of complete joy and wonderment.  For me, witnessing Anjali’s new experiences

and the joy it brings her is one of the most inspiring things I have experienced in life.

Since then, when it rains I try to make it a point to get our gear on and go outside, rather than remain trapped in the house.  Anjali loves it, and we get the whole park to ourselves on rainy days!   Swinging in the rain

is a whole new experience.  We had to be careful on the climbers, although Anjali was adventurous.

I guess it pays off to be a contrarian, especially in the rain, so long as you have good waterproof boots!

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Are Compostable Diapers Really Compostable?

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

A few weeks ago I posted about my discovery of fully compostable diapers.  We have been using disposable diapers only at night and when on trips out of town where doing laundry would be problematic.

I mentioned about Broody Chick 100% Natural Fully Compostable Diapers.

We ended up trying Attitude biodegradable diapers.  We bought just one pack of 40 to see how they were, as they had mixed reviews but the price was more reasonable than Broody Chick.  Along with that we bought some compostable trash bags.  After all, does it make any sense to have compostable diapers and just stick them in a regular non-biodegradable trash bag where it would sit for centuries?!

In fact, I felt like such a smarty-pants for realizing that I thought of the compostable bags, since most people probably overlook them as a piece in this go-green-puzzle.

I Am Put In My Place

We used the ATTITUDE diapers for about a week and found them to be really good.  No leaks (this was the whole reason we started using disposables over cloth).  They are completely natural, chemical free and durable.

Then, when I was picking up a toddler bed from my neighbor Lara, I asked her if she knew if the trash guys would take compostable bags.  Lara is our neighborhood’s Quality Of Life Coordinator.  She deals with everything from trash and recycling to green neighborhood events.  She pointed out that, regardless of whether they take them or not, they’re not likely to break down any faster than regular disposables or any other trash for that matter.  The problem is where it’s all going.  It’s all going in a landfill.  There is no air exposure and all of it, compostable or not, is buried.

That is when I had a “Duh” moment.  After all, what is the point of spending extra money and making extra effort just to suffocate these compostable diapers and bags underground with all of the regular trash.

Unless I’m willing to bury these diapers in my back yard (which I’m not), or unless my neighborhood is cool with me putting diapers in the neighborhood compost bin (which I guarantee they are not), I’m not sure it’s worth all of the effort.

In The End, I Believe These Diapers Are Still Worth It

After feeling thwarted by my neighbor’s insight, I realize that it is still worth buying these Attitude diapers, or those like it.

  • For one, I believe having natural fibers on Anjali’s butt is way better than having plastic or absorbency chemicals.  I’m pretty sure Huggies Pure and Natural are not entirely natural.
  • Secondly, I feel better using less petroleum-based products, especially in a world where everything seems to be rooted somehow in petroleum (and corn!).
  • Third, I appreciate green companies’ and manufacturers’ efforts to make our world a more sustainable place.  I prefer to support such companies, rather than those that don’t care, or that only produce a “green” product because they see a growing market for it.
  • Last, I can at least hope that these diapers and bags will break down faster than regular disposables, despite the fact that they are in a land fill.

Perhaps I will look into alternate waste sources in the area for such things.  Maybe there is a place I can dispose of non-food compostable items.  It’s not something I have a ton of time to do these days, but I may look into it.

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Everyday Blessings

Posted on September 14, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

I think despite the fact that I have a parenting philosophy, it’s important to keep exploring, reading and learning.  After all my ideas and feelings about parenting are just that, ideas and feelings.  They are ever changing, developing and growing.

That’s why I love to hear about new ideas and philosophies.  I love to hear about new books to read.  At the same time, I’m the kind of person that loves to listen to one album until I know it inside and out, and yet still find new twists and turns.  I’m the kind of person that loves to watch a movie many times, to notice things I may have missed the first couple of times.  I’m definitely the kind of person that loves to reread books that resonate with me.

That is why I started reading Everyday Blessingsagain.  I hadn’t forgotten how honest and thoughtful the book is.  Still, I am finding things that are resonating even more with me now that Anjali is 19 months old (when I read this before she was still an infant).

Recently, I have been trying to live by this paragraph:

“But in parenting, even what we thought and did yesterday that “worked out well” then, is not necessarily going to help today.  We have to stay very much in the present moment to sense what might be required.  And when our own inner resources are depleted, we have to have effective and healthy ways to replenish them, to restore ourselves, without it being at the expense of our children.” 1

Why did this passage hit me hard when I read it again?

It took me a while to realize that what works for me one day does not necessarily work for me the next.  I found this time and time again whether it had to do with naptime routines, meal time, communication, “discipline,” elimination communication or really anything and everything.

It’s so important for me to remember this in order for Anjali to thrive.  She is in such rapid physical, mental and emotional development that to think what works one day will work by default the next is just ridiculous.

Although Anjali is very much shaped by what Madhavi and I do, we have always found it important to treat her as a person with her own thoughts, feelings, wishes and needs.  If she wants to wear her jacket and raincoat in the house while it’s 80 degrees, that’s fine.  She will figure out that it gets too hot.  If she doesn’t want to eat her dinner when we eat dinner, or doesn’t want the food we are eating, we will encourage her to do so, and explain the consequences (ie being hungry in the middle of the night), but we won’t create a “you must do this” situation.

It’s mainly concerning safety issues that we will be firm and demand she do something, such as holding our hands when we are crossing a street.  Otherwise, I try to remember that none of us are confined by exact routines.  Sometimes I go to sleep at 11pm.  Sometimes I go to sleep at 1am.  Sometimes I get in bed and I’m not tired.  Sometimes I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.  Most of the time I sleep in our bedroom, but sometimes I don’t.  So I should expect Anjali to need that kind of flexibility too.

In fact, I would argue that as parents we  need to be more flexible with our children than we are with ourselves or each other.  These toddlers are just learning about routines and consequences.


So I continue to try…And mess up and forget.  I continue to learn from Anjali as she learns from me.  I really do my best parenting when I remember to be in the moment, which is indeed what Everyday Blessings is all about.

  1. Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, Everyday Blessings, p. 15, 1997. ↩

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I Am A Stay At Home Dad In The Truest Sense…

Posted on September 3, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

You may or may not notice by the date and time this post was published, so I will point it out to you.

It is 11:58pm on a Saturday night.  I am not performing, rocking out as it were.  I am not having a drink with friends at one of the many trendy bars in my hip neighborhood, Northern Liberties.  I am not even at a coffee shop drinking some important coffee.

I am at home, blogging on a Saturday night.  I truly live up to my moniker as a stay-at-home-papa.

Let me go on, and bask in my geek-dom.

Mind you, Madhavi and Anjali are in NYC.  They left this afternoon around 1pm.   They are staying with a friend over night.  They are coming back tomorrow early evening.  What have I done since they left?  Oh, this is too exciting.

First, I pulled weeds out of the lot behind our house, where we park.  Then I went to see why our dryer isn’t working (it’s not even turning on…yay!).  I couldn’t figure anything out about it.  Then I spoke with one of our tenants and decided not to try and patch the skylight that was leaking last week, and instead have someone else with more “expertise” look at it.

After that, I worked on some marketing materials and contacts for the Birth Relaxation Kit that Madhavi and I created for expectant mothers and birth partners (we’re really excited about this hypnosis for childbirth program we created!).  I finally dragged myself away from the computer at 5:30pm and decided to go food shopping.  Mind you, Madhavi has the car, so I mounted my bike, equip with a few back packs.

I stopped and talked with neighbors on my way.  Don asked me why, if Madhavi is in NYC, I am going food shopping.  My answer was that we have very little to eat in the house.  The real answer is that I am a bit of a loser!  After all, this is not the first time I have gone food shopping on a Saturday night.  Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one at Whole Foods.  Apparently I’m not the only loser in this city.

At least I got some exercise on my bike.

I got home and made dinner.  Now, I would venture that most men would not be cooking if their wife was away, especially if they were the ones cooking on most nights because their wife was the main bread-winner.  Well, I’m not most men.  Not only did I make myself dinner.  I made a typically healthy one at that, including sauteed kale and all.  Not only that, I didn’t even listen to music while I made it.  I listened to these downloaded marketing mentorship calls from Clay Collins (the marketing guy, not the country singer).

Hello?!  I’m a musician and I’m listening to marketing advice while making dinner, while my wife is out of town on a Saturday night!

Okay.  It was only about 8pm by the time I finished dinner.  It was early yet.  I could still make some plans.  I did call my friend Rocco to try and catch up with him for a drink maybe.  Voice mail.  I thought I would get some more work done before I reached out to anyone else.

I continued uploading a little marketing piece for The Birth Relaxation Kit onto YouTube.  I also answered a few comments on our other blog related to fear free birth (which I plan on transferring as a page on this blog in the near future..probably on a Saturday night :) ).

The next thing I knew it was 11:30.  I decided if I’m going to go out, now is the time.  I even stood up and walked to the kitchen.  I thought about ice cream.  I would really like some Ben and Jerry’s right about now, but I’m not sure any place is open that would have it.  I realized I’m not going out.  Loser.

I thought about writing this post, and here I am finishing it.

Post Script

After thinking about it, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a loser.  In all seriousness, I am a papa.  I am a different Jeremy than I once was.  I have had a lot of fun in my days as a bachelor and “rock star.”  I still have fun.  But right now I am enjoying the quiet of my house.  I also enjoyed the time I got to work on things uninterrupted, which is rare these days.  I decided to work on those things because of my responsibility as a father…and certainly because Madhavi and I have goals that extend beyond Philadelphia, and beyond “working” in the sense that our culture deems socially acceptable.  I even sacrificed playing music today, for the sake of furthering some other goals.

Luckily, I have tomorrow…Tomorrow is about hitting the Indian buffet at Karma and working on some new music…

And cleaning out the basement.  Doh!

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Compostable Disposable Diapers From Broody Chick

Posted on August 12, 2011 by Jeremy| Leave a comment

So after a recent trip our family took, I have been researching a lot about cloth diaper travel solutions.  We decided not to use cloth diapers on our 5-day vacation to New England because:

  • We didn’t want to spend our precious vacation time doing laundry (which would have been two laundry sessions in a 5-day period).
  • Using someone else’s washing machine meant Anjali’s cloth diapers would be exposed to all of the other detergents built up in the machine.  We’ve been pretty particular about having a natural detergent for her.
  • We didn’t want to deal with soiled cloth diapers on an 8-10 hour car ride to and from our destination.

We ended up using disposables (which is what we have been using at nighttime currently because the cloth diapers would leak from the volume of pee through the sleeping hours).  But in my research I discovered a few other options.

One option is to use disposable liners.  In this case, we would just lay the disposable liners in our cloth diaper covers–either wool or PUL (waterproof).  The liner would get flushed.  The problem with these is that the pee still gets through to the diaper cover, so we would still be dealing with soiled covers on vacation.

Then I found another solution: Broody Chick.  They are disposable diapers.  But they are super-disposable diapers, because:

Broody Chicks are 100% natural, and they are 100% compostable!

According to reviews, they are as absorbent as Pampers and Huggies.  They don’t have awful chemical or perfume smells.  They are not rough. They are a true solution to travel and disposable nighttime diapering.

They do cost more than a regular disposable.  But often the eco-friendly thing to do has either a monetary or time cost.

I also highly suggest buying compostable bags with these, either from Broody Chick, Gdiaper or anyone else that makes them.

To truly be eco-friendly and compostable, you need to put them in a compostable diaper bags.  If you just put them in a regular trash bag it defeats the purpose of being biodegradable.

These seem like a great solution for us, especially because right now we’re fairly committed to disposables for nighttime.  I don’t like the idea of us adding to the mass of disposable diapers in landfills.  I think it’s worth paying more money to make the eco-friendly choice.

Price Comparison With Huggies Pure and Natural

Broody Chicks are $17.99 for a 32 count on Amazon.  Huggies Pure And Natural are around the $20 mark on Amazon, for a 60 count.  Clearly, you wouldn’t be buying Broody Chick for the price.  And, of course, add in a pack of disposable bags.  A 50 count of the Broody Chick compostable diaper bags is a little shy of $8.

Again, this is an eco- and health-friendly choice.  This isn’t about price.  Ideally, this is for families who use cloth diapers but need a disposable alternative for trips or nighttime.

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